Expert: Phillip Senn - 4/3/2008

Question
i have been living with my boyfriend for the past seven months since I had my baby. We moved to live together as I was not going to afford living alone whilst on maternity leave. During this time we have had some problems as he felt that I was pushing him to marry me and also his family, however by the grace of God I have been saved and when I informed him about it he seemed not to realise  how important this was for me, and why I could not be involved in sexual relations with him. HE is pointing out that we are still living together and why am I giving him conditions. Please help me to find verses to explain that I am a new creation and I can no longer be the person he knew me to be. I feel that until I move out, I have placed myself in a corner as I cant stop telling people around me how God has been good to me and yet they would question, how I am still living with my boyfriend. May you give me some answers to this.

Answer
Before I seek to answer your question, I want to personally welcome you into God's family. Your decision to trust Christ Jesus as your Saviour is an awesome thing. May the Lord always be everything you need.

Also, congratulations on becoming the mother of a wonderful miracle blessing from the Lord. Your boyfriend is correct in one thing. You are still living with him. The two of you should seek to either get married, or you should seek another place to stay. If he isn't interested in getting married, then he still is to be responsible for the child (I am assuming that the child is his).

You can still be a very positive witness for the Lord. Living with him though, without being married, damages your credibility with many that you would seek to share your wonderful testimony with. The Apostle Paul wrote to "Abstain from all appearance of evil." Living with him also places you in danger of the temptation to give into his advances. Again Paul wrote to, "flee fornication."

A person is not saved because they are doing everything correctly. That would be a performance based salvation, and not a grace salvation. So yes, a person can be saved and still be doing things wrong in their life. God's ideal is that we be conformed to the image of Christ Jesus. Our goal, as yours appears to be, is to always show God's glory in our life. In order to do that, there needs to be some sacrifice.

May I suggest that you seek assistance from a godly counselor, perhaps your Pastor. Some churches have ministries specifically designed to assist young mothers. Some of them are able to assist in getting you in a place that will be better suited for your development as a young Christian, who is seeking to grow in the Lord.

I would suggest that you not pressure him into marriage. But I would also suggest that you maintain sexual purity until he decides to be a father to the child, and a husband to you. He needs to take responsibility for all of his actions. Perhaps he would go to see your Pastor with you, and together the Pastor could speak to both of you concerning your joint responsibilities.

As far as Scriptures to share with others... There are so many that you could share along with your testimony. Primarily, the verse that comes to mind is that we are saved by grace through faith, and that is not of works, lest any man boast. (Ephesians 2:8-10).

I hope this helps. I also want to encourage you to be faithful in all... And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord.

With Love In Christ,
Phillip Senn