Expert: Marsha I. - 9/25/2008

Question
i was in a somewhat conflicting relationship with someone that was first my boyfriend and then became my bestfriend. He was later diognosed with cancer and i toke care of him till the very end. I stayed with him through the illness even though i was ready to get married. i loved him very much and i didnt want to abandon him so i stayed.several years of life i spent with him. he left me as the benefiary and the day after he died  i went and toke all of my belongings and the things he specifically wanted me to have he had left things in writing documents that belonged to me. his mother wasnt there for him like i was. she went 3 or 4 days after and went to look things in the apartment she didnt even asked me what his wishes were. she accussed me of being a thief. i feel so betrayed. im  so hurt theres alot more but i dont want to write so much for now. i didnt worry about myself i didnt getan education i didnt have a job. i sent all my time with him. and now all i can remember are insults from his mother and family. theres a picture i had asked her for that she toke from his office .she lied to me that she was going to send it instead she tricked me into giving her my address so she could harass me with attorney. its been a while i starting to feel like i hate her for what she put me through. i was going to send a letter of closure i dont know if its a good idea?help

Answer
Sounds like you are going through a tough time.
A letter of closure may or may not be a good idea.  It depends on what your purpose for it is.  Is your purpose to get the last say?  Is your purpose to try to end the conflict and make peace?  Is your purpose to tell your side of the story and convince her that you are not the person she thinks you are?  These are all things to think about...what is your motive in writing to her?  If your motive is good and pure seeking reconciliation and peace, I would write it, but be prepared for her to reject you.  Decide ahead of time that if she does reject you, that you are not going to let it ruin your life any longer. If you have tried to reconcile with her and she rejects reconciliation, at least you can go away with your head held high and no guilt on your part. She will have to live with her bitterness. Be sure you spend some time in prayer asking God how you should respond to her.  Above all, don't do or say anything that would be vindictive.  Then you will have to live with what you did and answer to God for that.
There are just some people in this world that no matter how right you are they will always think you are wrong.  We just have to leave them to God and let their insults roll off our backs.  If we can't let it go then we will live with bitterness the rest of our lives and life is too short to spend it that way.
The Bible says do not return evil for evil but do good.
Marsha