Expert: Phillip Senn - 10/4/2009

Question
Our church has a couple that would like to become members. They are living together, they say, for convience, because one has insurance from last husband. If she were to remarry, she would loose her insurance. I know we are to minister to all who sin, but...

Answer
I had some members of my extended family that were living together "for convenience sake" also, so I know what you are saying. Even if the relationship were totally platonic, it still doesn't speak well to those that may be seeking a good testimony before the Lord. The response to this couple should be, "as long as you live together without marriage, we cannot allow you to be a member of the congregation."

This is not a negative message, as many suppose. I'll explain.

1. Their conduct should reflect faith. Faith would indicate that they are going to trust the Lord to provide their needs, in spite of the hardships they may face as a result of less income.

2. Their conduct should reflect a purity of life that is brought about through faith in the Lord Jesus. It is a positive thing to abstain from all appearances of evil (even if no evil exists).

3. The church can offer to help to minister to this family to assist them, prior to letting them become a part of the decision making membership, by giving them assistance financially if they run into trouble, by providing godly counsel to help them know God's ideal situation, and by showing the love of God to them (in the same way that they themselves were once comforted.

There are many others, but I think you understand... just because they aren't members of the church, they can still be ministered to through the body of believers. There may even be opportunities to minister to their families as well. This will send a strong message... One, we love and care for you, despite your living arrangements. And two, we believe in standing on Christian principles when making our decisions about who we let into our fellowship.

I hope this answer is beneficial to you, and to those you might share it with.

With Love In Christ,
Phillip Senn