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You are here: Experts > Religion/Spirituality > Christian Teens > Christianity -- Christian Living > Dating a "baby" Christian
Expert: Dr Eddy Cheong - 11/10/2009
Question
Hello,
How can you tell when it's okay to date a baby Christian? I'm dating a guy right now and we're talking about marriage. I love him very much and feel we are compatible. I am also happy with the respect he shows me, and that we generally enjoy each other's company.
He began going to church with me a year and a half ago, and we started dating almost a year ago. Lately we've been having deep spiritual conversations, and I feel like I'm looking more into his spiritual heart than before. Before, I assumed he was a Christian because he said the sinner's prayer, we prayed together in Jesus' name, and we would talk about the Bible together just fine.
However I'm realizing that he believes more in God, and less in who Jesus said he is. He says he has a hard time believing that God would let people go to hell that don't know Christ or have never heard of Christ (not so much those who have rejected Christ). Because of this internal dilemma for him, he feels he is not close to God lie he wants to be. He wants to have more faith, but is a questioning brainiac. How can I know that I'm not in sin with God by dating an unbeliever? To me it seems like he believes but has hang-ups. I never bothered questioning the technicalities of his salvation until recently; I tend to be sin-conscious and I am afraid I'm going against God's will.
Answer
ANSWER
The Bible expressly forbids a Christian marrying a Non Christian. No stronger terms can be used to denounce this wilful union of two contrasting kingdoms.
2 Cor 6:14-18
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
17 "Therefore come out from them
and be separate,
says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you."
18 "I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty."
NIV
A yoke is a wooden harness which binds two oxen to a common destiny (the use of the word ‘destiny’ as opposed to ‘destination’ is deliberate). How can a worshiper of Christ and a worshiper of Baal walk together (see also Amos 3:3)? Verse 16 above says that we are the Temple of (the Living) God, and the Holy Spirit resides in us. Christian Marriage, contrary to common belief, is a tripartite arrangement where a Christian couple makes a covenant with each other in the presence of Almighty God. They essentially become “One flesh”. How could the Holy Spirit dwell in the temple of the Living God and the temple of Baal at the same time (as both of them are now one flesh)? God will only be a Father to you (1 Cor 6:18) if you heed His call for Separation and Holiness (1 Cor 6:17). Therefore, we can safely deduce that a Christian who wilfully marries a Non-Christian is essentially forsaking His Covenant with Almighty God and therefore, no longer comes under the category of “God’s Covenant People”. It is for this same reason that I cannot find Scriptural guidance pertaining to a Christian who has married a Non-Christian divorcing his or her Non-Christian spouse. The Exception clause in Matt 5:32 and 19:9 refers to a marriage covenant of God’s people only, as Jesus later said in Matt 19:6...`Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.’
What about bringing my non christian partner to Christ via marriage?
Romance and evangelism are as far apart as heaven and hell is. The former emanates from the human soul whilst the latter is a calling and work of the Holy Spirit. Jesus did not say “Go ye into the World to bring Non Christians for your sons or daughters and make them Christians in the process.” The Biblical method of finding a mate for a Christian is to seek God’s Will and direction for your life-partner who must necessarily be a Born again Christian (the First requirement). GOD NEVER BRINGS A CHRISTIAN AND NON-CHRISTIAN TOGETHER IN A ROMANTIC ENCOUNTER SO AS TO BRING THE NON-CHRISTIAN TO SALVATION. All examples of Salvation in the New Testament have nothing to do with romance and marriage. Yes, I emphasize again, Salvation and Evangelism is a calling and work of the Holy Spirit. God never uses a human bait to ensnare an unbeliever into the Kingdom of God.
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