Expert: Kit Goins - 4/27/2009

Question
QUESTION: I just have a question on possibly your opinion on something??? I am dating someone for about a year and a half now... And he wants to pursue Barbering and just focusing on paying some things off, etc. However, I know and he knows he is called to be a Youth Leader. He has made it very clear to me and everyone that he has no time for that right now, and that he has other things he wants to take care of first. I simply tried to tell him that - if that is his choice and what he wants to do right now- then so be it.. BUT I just hope he doesnt forget God in the process? And we talked about alot of other things along the same lines..but he seems so frustrated lately- cuz he feels I am not supporting him  and that I do not have his back. Its not that I think Barbering is a bad thing! Or what he wants to accomplish is a BAD thing! I just know from expereince the very worst thing you can do is put God on the back burner for things that "you" want to do. Either way if you accomplish these things or not- at the end of it all- it will be "empty" and you will feel "empty". Love God with ALL your heart- and everything else WILL be added unto you. PERIOD! He will give you the best of both worlds- as long as you put Him as the PRIMARY thing in your life. . .

I dont want to loose him-not as a boyfriend, and definutly not as a friend. . But I can deal with that more so- then loosing him in a spiritual sense. You know what I mean? And I feel like I am leaving him behind in a way- and that hurts! How can I make him feel supported/ and not like I am against him- and continue to stand for what I feel. What can i do differently? Am I being to strong about it?

ANSWER: Greetings, in the name of Jesus, the christ....

You are right about placing God first:

"Love God with ALL your heart- and everything else WILL be added unto you."

The only thing I can suggest is to just continue loving him and praying for him, and allow God to bring things about, His way. You or I can not FORCE anyone to do anything, it will just bring anger and resentment.

One question for you, however, How do you KNOW, for certain, that his mission in life is to be a Youth Leader?  Who or what gives you this?

I would continue praying about this, as well. It might not be what God has in mind, be careful with speaking for God, I would just allow God to open the doors that He wants open. If Youth Leader, is what God wants...then He WILL make it happen by opening certain doors when its time...His time, not yours.

Hope this helps

In His Service, and Love
Bro  Kit

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Your right... I agree! The only reason I feel his calling is possibly?? Along those lines.. is not only cause he feels thats what it is, but also it being prophetically spoken into his life long time ago. I wasnt there- but this is what he tells me. And I can see it for myself. When he is up front in church during Youth Groups on Wed. Its so obvious...for me anyway? just the effect he has on the kids, his natural talent to touch them in such a different way. Unexplainable really! Its remarkable. And no one can even try to have that sort of effect, you cant learn how to have that, it cant be taught. Its clearly something that is just IN YOU and it comes out. Many people from pastors to leaders say the same things to him, and how much he touches people.

But no- by all means I am not God, and he didnt come down and tell me himself this is what he is calling him to do. Only He knows that. And that is between them. I honestly just feel in my heart and spirit that he is pushing/and running away from God, because #1 he is not ready to take on the calling #2 he is not WILLING to set aside HIS wants and needs and #3 he is afraid and not trusting enough that God will in deed take care of him if he simply chose to let GO and follow Him! and he is very honest that he is just not willing and not ready. And it hurts to see this.

But I do NOT want to push him away, and I do NOT want him to resent anything.... So maybe keeping my mouth shut will help...??

ANSWER: Hi again...

Hmmmm...it certainly sounds as if thats what his mission is. I would just continue to love him, and ask him to pray about what God wants.

Once in a while it wouldn't hurt to ask him about his faith in God...
but, do it with compassion.  Ask him what he believes is FAITH IN GOD.
Then if what he says lines up with God's word. Ask him to ask hisself,
not to you verbally, but himself...if he believes he still has faith, God's meaning of FAITH (Hebrews 11:6).

If he believes he does, then ask himself WHY he hasn't done what he knows God wants him to do?

If he doesn't want to answer to you, then ask him to answer to God.

Hope this also helps
Bro  Kit

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Do you think this also means that we are both going seperate ways? Maybe just not on the same level as we once were? Or should I just be patient and wait on God, see what happens.?? As far as the relationship goes?

Answer
I can not answer whether or not you must go separate from each other (both career or relationship wise) that, has to be prayed about, bigtime.

I'm not what you may think I am, in the office of prophecy.

Just so you know;  there are two offices of a prophet;
they are

1:  is to hear audibly, directily from God Himself, and speak forth what "thus saith the Lord".

2.  the other is to take the word of God literally, and speak forth the whole truth of God's word.

My office is the second one.  But at times God does speak audibly
thru His prophets...of both offices.

So continue praying to get God's answer, He may use two or three others to confirm His word to you, He could also make a verse(s) standout while studying His word. Try fasting for 3 days along with prayer (NO food or water) you can rinse out your mouth after brushing etc. But do not swallow it.

Prayer is most powerful coming off a fast.