Expert: Phillip Senn - 8/13/2009

Question
Hi,

I have a question.  

My wife is on a "prayer chain" which I think is great.  You don't see many of those anymore and I can remember as a kid how good it was to have that kind of thing.  

Lately, however, I am having a hard time reconciling myself to some things that are going on with this situation that was not present in the past, at least with what I was familar with.  

My wife receives both e-mail and phone calls.  These are for prayer for very "heavy" situations.  There are never anything which you might call a "praise report".  Only a great deal of negativity on these e-mails.  My wife has become depressed over the entire thing.  E-mails come with pictures of children who have died of cancer showing them in the hospital with dark rings around their eyes and swollen from the kimo.  Then a picture showing the headstones for these children and/or shrines that the parents have erected in the backyards.  

Of course, I am sympathetic about it all.  However, it feels as if it is a black hole that has swallowed my wife and feels like ti could swallow me if I let it.  Honestly, it is difficult to express how dark and heavy some of this is.  The thing that kind of "capped" it for me was my wife and I and our family had taken our son to a fair the other weekend.  She is also on a prayer chain at work and her cell phone rang.  She answered and one of the bosses son, 17 years old, had been in an accident where he and some friends were horsing around, one jumped in a friends car pretending to drive away, the other jumped on the trunk of the car and climbed onto the roof of the car and was consequently thrown from the car receiving serious head trauma.  My wife was shaken and upset and teary eyed.  She told me and I told her we'd keep it in mind and pray about it.  About an hour later a call came in to tell her that she coudl stop praying because the boy had died of his injuries and the call went on for about 15 or so minutes.  My wife was crying when she got off of the phone and the rest of the weekend was very dark for her, she continued to think about it and was depressed.  

My question, I guess, is how much is too much.  I knwo that we can't carry things on our shoulders, that we can pray and then we need to leave it.  Sometimes we can pray without even knowing the details.  Praying for God's best and his intervention in whatever way he sees as best.  

As I said, it is hard to describe it, it is not like anything I have ever experienced with respect to a prayer chain.  It is very heavy and seems to not let up.  I also remember that Paul wrote in Philippians "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."  It has honestly been hard to feel upbeat or positive with the way things are.  

What do you think of this and what do you think we should do?  

Thank you!  

Answer
Richard,

Thanks for the question. I will try to answer as best as I can.

Many times in Scripture, there are situations that the Lord had to deal with that caused Him grief. Your wife is sharing in the grief of others, as are you as you watch her face these realities of life in despair.

There are many things that we should pray about that would not cause this grief. Ask her to start sharing with her prayer group things that she sees as "other needs" besides those things that are being prayed for that are tragic in nature. For instance, there are many groups that have several aspects of prayer.

One of these might be to include prayer for missionaries and included in that could be praise reports from the missionaries' experiences of seeing people come to faith in Christ.

Another example might be prayer for specific projects in the church to minister to others. The praise reports could include the stories of seeing those that have been helped through that ministry.

You can see that not all "prayer chain" requests have to be tragic in nature. By asking her to provide these types of prayer requests to the "prayer chain", she can become a person of faith and hope, rather than a person of fear and anguish. I can almost guarantee that this attitude of praise will be catching.

If there are some of the other "prayer concerns" that may cause her to become disheartened, share Scripture with her that will encourage her to trust, even when the situation may seem bleak. Ask her to remember that even when those tragic situations take place that cause us all to despair, we should never lose heart, as God can use every one of those situations for His glory, and for the good of all who are affected by the tragedy (Romans 8:28). It is words of hope that lead to praise and worship. Jesus' resurrection from the dead gives us hope that, just as He was raised from the dead, we too, that believe in Him, shall be raised in Him.

Your wife has many good things going for her. Don't discourage the prayer "chain". Just encourage the ones in the prayer chain through positively sharing God's love and encouragement.

You can ask your wife to pray for me, and for this ministry that I have in sharing the good news of Christ with others. She can even share this story with others in her group as a positive encouragement.

With Love In Christ,
Phillip Senn