Expert: Phillip Senn - 8/9/2009

Question
QUESTION: hi, i know that it says in the bible that couples should not live together before marriage, but i was wondering if it is ok to sleep under the same roof occasionally? like if you want to go away somewhere over night or something like that?

ANSWER: The Scriptures indicate that we should "abstain from all appearance of evil". If two non-married individuals sleep under the same roof, the appearance of evil is there, whether or not they are involved sexually.

Also, the temptation to engage in sexual activities is there. My suggestion would be to stay away from those things that might increase our vulnerability.

I hope this helps.

With Love In Christ,
Phillip Senn

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: i have asked a few people about this topic now and every response i get basically tells me the same thing, no sex before marriage.
i already know that, but i am struggling with how restricted it seems for two people who are not married.
for example, say i wanted to go camping with my partner and his family, or we both wanted to go and visit a friend of one of ours who lived to far away to return the same day.. is that ok or not?

Answer
Chelsea,

I can only speak from personal experience on this matter, as Scripture gives no clear direction. Provided that you and your "partner" are not being placed in a position that increases the temptation, I would say that being under the same roof for sleeping would not be wrong. As long as there are proper (separate) sleeping arrangements, proper attire is worn, and other safeguards are in place, I do not see this as improper. Just remember that, as in any situation where people may be alone, the temptation can be increased.

I have used the term "safeguards" rather than "restrictions". The reason I use this is because we often see rules imposed upon us as restrictions, rather than realizing that those rules are often placed upon us by parents, the government, etc. to protect us from dangers that may cause us harm. God placed many "restrictions" upon His people to safeguard them from the dangers of temptation. These safeguards also were used as standards to show them when they had "crossed the line" into dangerous or even deadly behavior.

I would pray that your decisions in this matter would be to seek to honor the Lord, as well as honoring those that may have placed those safeguards in place for your protection.

With Love In Christ,
Phillip Senn