Christianity -- Christian Living/Long Distance Relationship
Dear Pastor Ron,
I've known my boyfriend for four years. We dated once when we were 14/15 but it only lasted for a few months (we had met at a summer camp and even though we were only an hour and a half away from each other, it was more difficult than we expected to maintain a long distance relationship at that young of an age). Even though we didn't date for too terribly long, we still both believe that we were each other's first loves. I knew that this wasn't going to be a temporary thing, so I secretly waited for him for four years and we remained good friends.
Four years later, he actually came back to me and I took that as a sign from God that this wasn't supposed to be just a temporary thing and that we were meant to have a part in each other's lives. The only problem now, is that instead of an hour and a half apart, we are going to colleges four hours apart and seeing each other went from weekly to maybe once a month if we're lucky. We know that we're in love, and we know that if we can make it through the four years of college that we'll end up getting married. We've discussed this and that's our plan/hope.
However, sometimes it does get hard sometimes for both of us. We talk for 30 minutes a day on the phone due to our busy schedules, which we know is a generous amount compared to other couples, and we know that we are blessed to have each other and have the ability to talk daily even for such a short amount of time. But it gets difficult to stay positive sometimes. There are several times where one of both of us have just broken down on the phone because we miss each other too much and we just think it's too hard. Almost every night I pray to God to give both of us the strength to endure through this distance for these four years.
My question, I guess, would be, what does the Bible say about distance relationships and what advice would there be for us to endure through when times seem tough?
Thank you for your time.
The bible is full of wisdom about relationships. The bible is NOT full of anything currently practiced called "dating." Through the Scriptures, no such thing is announced, sanctified nor practiced.
Having said that, I would consider your current situation as VERY BLESSED! Why??? Because hours away will not only keep your relationship holy before the LORD, but it is most likened by the example of MESSIAH and HIS Bride (us)! Consider how close that HE is (in the midst of two or three meeting in HIS NAME), but how far away HE seems at times! I would encourage you both to study and develop your individual relationships with HIM as HE reveals HIMSELF to HIS Bride through HIS Word. Read and study, for example, HIS Words to "the seven churches" in Revelation 1-3. Break down the pros and the cons to each church that is addressed. Confess your subsequent convictions from those studies to each other and pray for one another as a part of your regular conversations by phone. If your relationship is one that HE has intended, then making this practice a central part of that relationship both now and into your future will bring blessing beyond your imagination!
HE is THE perfect groom. SHE (us) are to be waiting, as we allow HIM to convict, guide, teach, comfort and equip us to be that "spotless bride" that HE IS SOON TO COME FOR!
May you both walk in HIS LOVE, HIS HOLINESS, HIS TRUTH as you await HIS RETURN! May HE grant you both of HIS SPIRIT to deal with the distance, your own desires, and your own humanness in the meantime! IN MESSIAH!