Christianity -- Christian Living/Seperation

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Question
Hello,
I have been married for just over two years now and my husband decided he wanted a separation four months ago. First of all he has an anger problem which becomes abusive. He also use to walk out when he felt, leave me in the house with no food etc. Yet he decided to walk away with. He also had issues with lust and still clubbing, although he was in the choir.My problem is dealing with pain of him leaving. We talked until recently when I told him to stop texting me as these were sometimes abusive. I don't know how to deal with him!! My faith waxes and wanes in accordance to the pain I am feeling. I still love him I guess and would want the marriage to work. We did go counseling but he stopped attending

Answer
Hi Diane - thanks for writing.  I'm very sorry you're going through these troubling times.  While I didn't read a specific question in your post to me, I gather that you're looking for help in how to deal with this.  Well, there's no easy answer unfortunately.  My advice is to continue Christian counseling, not secular psychology.  Continue to pray and ask Jesus for his wisdom and counsel and His leading you.  There's always hope and it rests in Him!  Now, one thing to point out, is that if you are in an abusive situation which threatens your safety and well being, you need to remove yourself from that situation and seek immediate help, from the police if necessary.  God certainly does not promote divorce, however he also does not expect us to be a doormat and take physically (and even emotionally) endangering abuse.  

I understand what you mean about your faith waxing and waning according to the pain you're feeling.  I think that's human nature, however, when we see this happening, that's when we need God all the more!  Keep pressing into Him for his grace and mercy and leading.  He knows exactly what you're going through and has a way through this for you.  He never promises things will be easy all the time, but he does promise to not give us more than we can handle.  Seek out strong Christian counseling, find a care group at church to surround yourself with Godly men and women to help you through this.  God is community, and He's given us community for things just such as this to help us.  

I hope this helps out some Diane,

Grace & Truth

John

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John Gump

Expertise

I can answer questions concerning the following areas of Christianity: - True Christian Doctrine - Difficult concepts to grasp including: the Trinity, inerrancy of the Bible, salvation by grace alone, controversial sayings of Jesus throughout the NT, does the Bible contradict itself, and spiritual warfare. - What it means to be a true Christ Follower rather than just a believer. - Catholicism - Questions related to other sects that claim to be Christian but have widely varying views and beliefs that differ from Evangelical Christianity. - Young Life (high school age Christian program) I also can help recommend reading material on various issues people face in this world, whether a Christ follower or not. Why bad things happen to good people, How to walk with God, understanding scripture, Jesus in our workplaces, spiritual warfare, brokenness, testing of the spirits, etc.

Experience

I've been a Christian for 29 years. My wife and I are members of an evangelical Church and we have taught and hosted many bible studies, men/women groups. I have learned throughout my 29 years of being a Christ Follower to rely solely on the Bible for the single Truth source of Christianity. I also recognize that there is a plethora of extra-biblical (yet Bible based) resources available that help us grow in our knowledge of and intimacy with Christ that I can help guide you toward.

Education/Credentials
Bachelor of Science from Case Western Reserve University. Minor in Religious Studies with special concentration on Judaism.

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