Expert: Graig Yarbrough - 2/2/2012

Question
I read over some of your response to other questions that you answer for other people, and I was truly bless. I thank God for having people like you to be there to help people that are lost in this world of sin.
Hey, my name is Junior Ambroise and I am a Christian that loves God allot. But I don't know how to obey God for a long period of time. I got baptized at the age of 18 or 19 and from that point I was seeking after God without even knowing that I was. I had many ups and downs but when I met a girl name Alexandra it seems like everything I was building with God have completely fell apart. When I first met her I never had in the back of my mind to be in a relationship with her, I only wanted to be her friend. As I begin to get to know her is when I starting to lose God's grace over my life. Before we got in to a relationship we begun to have sexual intercourse. Till this day we are still having sex. I want to stop but no matter what I try it seems like I won't ever stop. When I was getting to know her I told I wanted to wait for marriage she reply I'll make you do it before. I never taught that I was going to fall for what she said. I feel that is a mistake the fact that we are together because she said she used to be a Christian but she doesn't belive that Jesus is the son of God. She believes Jesus is just a man. I'm at a point in my life where I don't what to do anymore. I never plan to disrespect God and let him down like that. I can't pray anymore, I can't read my bible, or worship God like I use to do when I first got baptized. I love her but I ask God several times if she is not the right one for me just let me know and I will brake up with her. I want to serve my God in truth and in spirit, so I will get rid of anything that he ask to me in order to serve him.

My questions is
What should I do about my situation?

Answer
Hi Junior,

I understand that you do not know what to do.

Let’s start here.

God is not ever going to leave you.  He can’t.  I’ll explain that sometime if you want me to.

Since He is not going to leave you, you want to change how you relate to Him.

You will never stop doing something that you are always fighting. The principle is you get more of what you reinforce. If you feel guilty about what you are doing, and you continue to resist it, you will just get more of it.

Instead, let go of the guilt.  Keep in mind that God understands.  He will not forsake you.  In the world of sin, there are much worse things than sex.  I don’t say that to belittle sin. I’m just helping you to let go and relax.

As you do that, you will take away the energy there and you will notice that you are much less likely to push yourself to do it.  Turn your focus on how God loves you and stop trying to earn it.  Just keep your focus on how good He is. As you do that, you will begin to change.  Without all the negativity, you will begin to get little hints(His still small voice) of the way you should go. If this girl is right for you, you will know it.   If she is not, you will know that as well.
 
Why do I proceed in this way?

Because the word sin in Greek means, “missing the Mark.”  It is like the action of shooting an arrow.  You take the action of having a bow and arrow, putting the arrow in the bow, pulling it back, allowing the arrow to go forward, but missing the target.

We miss the mark by not understanding what it going on here.

Jesus spent his entire life getting us to understand how we relate to God by being an example.  He was saying, in essence, look at me.  You are just  like me. As I am, so are you.   Follow my example.
How many times did He say, follow my example. Do as I do.

This is how your girlfriend misses the mark.  Jesus was the son of God.   But--- He was the first. He was the pointer of the way.  He was the teacher.  We are also sons of God.

The physical Jesus has been gone for over 2000 years. The life that was Jesus is in us and has always been.    It comes alive when we believe what he said, “the things I do, you can do also.”   “I and my Father are one.”   If that is true, then you and the Father are one also.  When you focus on that, you are no longer missing the mark.  You are right on target.  It is that (Christ) life awakened in you, that is your salvation.   It is literally Jesus incarnated in you because you believe.   It is the life that Jesus mentioned , to the woman at the well.  It springs fourth forever, producing life, real life.  That life is eternal because it continues to grow and produce more life.  Wherever it finds itself, it grows into a form that reflects its character.   It never dies.  It just keeps growing and enhancing other life constantly.

The more you recognize this reality, the more it becomes alive in you.  As it does, it affects your behavior.  We behave out of  our being; who we are.  The more you are this life in you, the more your behavior changes to match it.   Junior, that is your answer.
 
I invite you to allow yourself to take a look at that and see if it makes sense.

That is how I understand what  you are going through and how you relate to God.

If you have any more questions or your need clarification, (this stuff is different) please write me again.

May that life come alive in you and motivate you to greatness.

Graig 