Christianity -- Christian Living/Long-distance Dating
QUESTION: Hi, I am 25 and the guy I am dating is 26. We just met but we really like one another. We both have 1 child from other relationships. We both have committed sin in our life and have strayed away from God many times. Now, both of us are determined to live a life for God. I am just starting to really understand some of the things God has put before me. I am just starting to get an understanding of some of his word, but I am no where near where I need to be. I am also teaching my 5 year old son some important things of the Bible. Anyway, here is the story..
We met at Wal-mart Nov 3 because he was with someone I knew and we stopped to talk. All of us talked for about an hour in the seasonal isle and then when our friend left, he stayed with me and we talked some more. Then we checked out together and talked even more. We talked a total of 4 hours in Wal-mart. We really hit it off from day one! We have spent hours on the phone just getting to know one another, as well as texts as often as we can.
At the store, he told me he was moving 6 hours away the very next day for his new assistant managing job. Knowing this would be a long distance relationship, we both decided it was worth trying based off of day 1. So far, we've only been dating for a month and we have both met each others child (mine was with me when I met him) and we have met each others family and some friends. I have met more of his people than he has of mine. All of his friends commented on how happy he is. They have never seen him happier. As far as I know, neither of us has reason to end the relationship. Another important piece of information is that knowing we both have had a child, he stated he didn't want to have sex until he knew he was in love. I have been wanting that from a partner and I couldn't believe he said it. It was just one more thing that made us feel right.
We have talked a lot of the future, but we want God to determine our future. He is estimating that he will only be in this location for about 3 months before they start looking at making him a general manager and opening up a new store. The new store could be closer or farther away from me. If it is farther, we have discussed the possibility of me moving with him. While I am not above relocation, I don't know if it will be right. Will it be too soon? Should I live with him, or just move to the same location?
Along with advice, can you recommend a devotional we could do together. Geared towards new relationships involving God, long distance, and maybe for young adults/parents. I do not want one about marriage yet, that will come at a later time.
Thank you in advance!
Thank you so much for taking the time to question your decisions("Love really is blind"). I am so excited to hear that you two have decided to live your life for the Lord. I believe you are right where you need to be.("Beginning to understand the word of God and wanting to Obey God")
Please continue to teach your son about God and His love for him.
I am glad to hear that you two are not sexually involved, because that can cloud the judgment of you both. KayCee, I know the feelings you are experiencing." We all have" and we all know that that feeling does not last. Because we are showing our "Best self" All of this changes as we get to know each other, because none of are perfect.
What we tend to do with each other, is overlook the negative and focus on the positive. However,in a real relationship you will have both. But, when we first meet each other we tend to overlook the other person's faults. "Which we only revealin time." Once we are comfortable with each other. KayCee, if you move slowly and allow God to guide and direct you and your friend concerning your relationship,He will reveal the answers to you. Just relax and enjoy the conversation and getting to know each other.
Three months is much to early to discuss your relocating especially with your young son.
NO! NO!! Sorry for yelling:):) "Do not move in with him" First, until you know him better.
Second, let him pursue you. KayCee, you are moving much to fast. Just relax and get to know this young man. To answer your question as to if long distant relationship can work. "absolutely" However,both persons must be committed to relationship which can be very hard when you are apart.
Do you both attend church? The bible is a good place to start reading "Pray and obey" have a book of devotionals you make like."30 Days to a More Incredible Relationship with God" By Ramona Cramer Tucker.
You might also want to check at a Christian bookstore, they have devotionals that you both can use. I hope my response was helpful. Please feel free to contact me again if you need to.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Dr. Swaby,
First I want to thank you for your response. The answer to your question. We both do attend church in the location we are at. We are both new to our church so neither of us are too involved in the church.
I think he and I are getting to know each other rather well! We've learned a lot about one another both positive and negative. We understand that no human is perfect and that people do change from their past. We have both made mistakes we aren't proud of. We want someone who accepts our past and doesn't judge us but forgives our past as God would.
It seems I led you to believe I would be moving in 3 months. I teach so I wouldn't move til June! That would put us knowing each other for 7 months. Is that too soon?
I am so glad to hear that you have already addressed the things that could be a concern. You have stated several times that you both have made mistakes.
Always remember. "Every Christian has a pass and every sinner has a future"(That is for all of us") Both of you should start attending church on a regular basis, as well as reading and sharing bible scriptures and devotions with each other.
We all have things we have done that we are not proud,we thank God for His forgiveness.
What do you teach? I use to teach and I loved it, I think you are on the right track. Just remember to keep God as the head of your life.....no matter what He is so faithful.
I pray that God will bless you all and keep you in His perfect care.
I would love to hear from you as the relationship progresses.