Christianity -- Christian Living/Wanting a christian male to lead...


QUESTION: Uh hello there im a 15 yr old girl and I
have a question...
Is it wrong to want a christian man to
lead my house? I live with my mom, shes
a christian and shes the bomb.but
sometimes I wish we had this super
strong male figure to marry my mom and
be around us to lead guide and protect us
and strengthen our walk with christ(its
me my mom my two sisters and my bro
but hes kinda detatched from us) im
saved but I feel like I could be a way
better christian and I dont know how or
where to start. I just want a strong figure
to kinda push and help me whether it be
a man for my mom or for me in the
future. Is that kinda weird? Ive never
been one to kinda lean on other people
for guidance but lately ive been wanting a
man to lead me...

I don't think it is weird at all to want a man around the house to lead spiritually and to protect the household.  I think down deep that is what most gals would desire.  It is the way God made us.  You can certainly bring that before God as a prayer request and leave it with Him to answer as He sees fit. Be prepared for what ever answer God might give....whether it be Yes, No, or Wait.  

I think the important thing to remember, however, is that God is most pleased with us when we are most satisfied in Him. If having a man marry your mom and become a leader in the family is going to cause you to trust more in the man than in God alone, then maybe that would not be a good thing.  We must never trust man more than we trust God.  

Also, there is a chance that you might put unrealistic expectations on this person and then be severely disappointed if he did not perform to what you were hoping for and expecting. So just a couple of cautions for you to think about as you pray for God's will in this matter.

Be patient and Keep your trust always in God even He says "no" to your request.  He really does know what is best for your and your mom.


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for answering my question :)

How would I know what His answer would be to my question, though?

Begin to pray that God would bring a godly man into your mom's life.  When she begins dating or if she already is, pray for the man.  Watch how he interacts. Share with your mom your hopes for her future spouse.  If God brings the right man along, I think you will know. Your will have peace about it and she will too.  

I it isn't God's will to bring such a man into your lives, I think you will realize that in time.  Those whom she might date simply will not be spiritual leaders and you will sense that.  If you share your hopes with your mom ahead of time and assuming she is a godly woman, she will sense it too and be sensitive to God's leading.

Or there is the possibility that she just won't meet anyone who she desires to date and spend time with....that would be an answer too...maybe a wait or no.

I think you and her need to realize that in "finding God's will" for your lives, it's not a matter of who shall I marry, where should I go to school or what shall I eat etc so much as, what am I doing right now that God wants me to do?  Look in the Bible to see what it is He wants you to do....

Here are some scriptures to get you started:

For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: 1 Thessalonians 4:4

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:8

For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. Hebrews 10:36

For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men: 1 Peter 2:15

For [it is] better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. 1 Peter 3:17

Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls [to him] in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator. 1 Peter 4:19

As you can see, the will of God is doing right now where you are what God wants you to do.  So right now, according to 1 Thessalonians 5:8, you are to give thanks in everything.  That includes the circumstances you are in right now.  Even if God never sees fit to provide the man you hope for to be a spiritual leader, if you can thank God in that circumstance, trusting in Him to do what is best as He sees fit, then that is the will of God.

Sometimes we confuse God's will for our lives with what we hope for and want to happen and we get all tied up wondering how we will know when God has answered our prayer and what His will is.  While it is a good thing to pray for what we desire, we need to be content within our circumstances that God has put us in even if we never receive the answer that we wanted.  We need to leave room for God to be God and let Him do what He deems best.  

I hope I have helped some and not muddied the waters more for you.

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Marsha I.


I will be happy to answer questions about Christian living from a Biblical point of view. Questions about suffering, living with chronic illness, marriage, home schooling, interpersonal relationships, witnessing,theology and any others you want to ask are welcome. If I am not able to answer your question, I will tell you.


Living with chronic health conditions,and a spouse who suffers with Bipolar has taught me much about God's faithfulness and His desire to sanctify me through these things. I am also a home school mom of 16 years combined with two graduated. I have learned many things in God's school of hard knocks over the years and can draw from this experience as I answer questions from a Biblical point of view.

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