Christianity -- Christian Living/God and love.



My name is Lisa and i am curently on the path of Christ. I have newly became Christian . My boyfriend Edgard has been trying to be part of Christianity since he was younger. He accepted Christ as his savior about a month before i did .

We have a relationship that everyone wanted to have . We were always told that we were the best couple . And i truely believe we were. We had great communication and we always solved our problems without fighting. With his help, i became a better person . I stoped using drugs, drinking alcohol, and stopped cursing. He did the same. I was also a sex addict until I let God control my thoughts and with the Lord's help, I have recovered from all that.

About 2 weeks ago my boyfriend recieved a message from his grandmother saying that we(him and i) were bringing each other down spiritually. Honestly, we did fall into sin about once. But the Lord knows all of our thoughts. We broke up and we were both in a state of depression without each other. I started to change again, leaving everything in the hands of our Lord. He did the same. We got back together but soon after 3 weeks, we seperated again. The second time he told me that his mom came to him because his grandmother once again said it was not right for us to be with each other right now.

He is a very strong person and he gave all his emotions to God so he started acting like he didnt care even though we were both hurt. We were in love and letting go of someone you love is hard. He says to me that right now is not good for us .

I have been crying for days. I have this empty feeling in my stomach and i honestly feel like there's a hole in my heart. I have been praying and praying to God asking for an answer. Begging for forgiveness.

The lord once again spoke to Edgard and said that as the people we used to be, we werent good for each other. Edgard doesnt know whether that means that i'm not the one or maybe the person i used to be isnt. I wonder if God knows that i've changed. I feel very lost and confused. I am happy when connected to God but i am not happy without Edgard . I feel completely empty without someone who was my best friend and my boyfriend.

Now , this break up was done before i began to change and devote myself to God. We both feel that until we get ourselves right with God we cant be together . But when we do , maybe we can .

God wants us to love right ? And be happy? Edgard and i supported each other with being christian and giving everything to God. We were happy and now neither one of us is happy. How do i go about this situation. God answered my question by sending me a sign . I asked him to let a red car pass if i was meant to be with Edgard but we just had to find ourselves first and let a blue car pass if i should not be in his life at all. The red car passed me . But i dont think i can do anything until edgard is ready . Why did God give me a different answer from what he told Edgard ? How do i go about this ?

Thank you .

ANSWER: Dear Lisa,

You are in a battle dear sis. Consider;

1Jn 2:15  Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
1Jn 2:16  For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.
1Jn 2:17  The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.

This battle began in the garden. Consider;

Gen 3:6  When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.

Paul, the apostle had this same battle. Consider;

Rom 7:15  For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.
Rom 7:16  But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good.
Rom 7:17  So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
Rom 7:18  For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.
Rom 7:19  For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.

You are not alone. But like THE FATHER said to Cain, you must master your sin. Consider;

Gen 4:7  "If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."

Cain did NOT "do well" and thus he did NOT "master it"

You are in a battle to subdue your own lusts. The facts that you were an addicted person reveals your weakness to the flesh. Your flesh wants something or someone and you have allowed your flesh to "drive the car" so to speak. You must master that sinful nature that you were born with. If you do not, your flesh will drive you to one sinful experience to another until you will become convinced that you are worthless, and give up. That is what the devil is using your flesh to try and convince you of. YOU MUST MASTER IT, SIS!

I will say this as well; Going to church, going to bible studies, being involved in witnessing, missions, etc. are all good things. BUT THEY WILL NOT DELIVER YOUR HEART FROM IT'S SINFUL DESIRES!!! ONLY MESSIAH can do that! And HE will only accomplish that as you persist to seek HIM first! Not the ways of Christianity. Not the ways of religion. BUT THE WAYS OF HIS WORD! The enemy is so deceitful that he can hide in a religion that adds to (by it's practices) and subtracts from (by it's practices) THE WORD OF YHWH(this is called a tetragrammaton of the true NAME of THE CREATOR)

Be wise, my dear sis. There is a devil. And linking into areas of your un-crucified flesh, he will cause you confusion. But that is also a good way for you to realize that you must change your way of thinking! THE CREATOR is not in confusion. HIS WAYS are simple and pure and true. The ways of religion built on men's beliefs and practices and NOT on THE CREATOR'S results in confusion EVERY TIME!

Once you are thinking in line with YHWH's TRUTH, you will be able to see more clearly and will be able to subdue your flesh more consistently. It sounds harder than it is. Just begin to read HIS WORD and take it for what it says. Be careful of the influence of religious people (who are also having their own battles) and spend time listening for HIS Voice. HE said that HIS sheep can hear/understand HIM. Consider;

Joh 10:27  "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;

If you believe HIM and are born again, you will be able to hear HIS voice in the midst of confusion. If you do not believe HIM and/or are NOT born again, you need to be. Once you are born of HIS SPIRIT then you are a HIS child!

Once you are walking with HIM in this manner, then HE will direct you into either being with this person that you speak of, or direct you in another way. You will not struggle with it as you are now because you will have been able to subdue your own flesh from it's desires and now you will live to please your CREATOR, WHO loves you more than any other person ever could and/or ever would!

May you seek HIM with all of your heart so that your heart's desires become those which lead you out of confusion and into blessing!

Pastor Ron

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Lust is definately something that many struggle with . It tears me away from the Lord . I believe in Him. Is there any way to build a relationship with God and still love another person? Can two people be strong enough that they both have their relationship with Our Father and be in a relationship together and fight off lust ? Do you think that sin and lust control a person only because they are weak ?

Dear Lisa,

As your relationship with your loving Heavenly FATHER is established and strengthened you will have more consistent victory over lust. It will not go away, serving as a sort of reminder of how much we need HIM in our daily living...but you will master it!

Two people, who BOTH are establishing and strengthening their personal walks with HIM, CAN walk together with HIM and each other! That doesn't mean that there won't be any struggles on this side of eternity, but they will prevail as HE increases IN them and through them to each other! This is, by the way, a description of true fellowship in a blessed marriage!

No, I do not believe necessarily that "sin and lust control a person only because they are weak." Sin and lust ONLY control a person as long as he/she allows them to. The PURE SPIRIT has been given to equip the believer with the expressions of the nature of THE FATHER so to enable the believer to walk in HIS power and strength. Consider;

Gal 5:22  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, Gal 5:23  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Gal 5:24  Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Gal 5:25  If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit."

This can only be accomplished (not by our determination, but) by HIS power in and through us! Yield to HIM. Be conscious of HIS gentle nudging in every circumstance. You will grow accustom to HIS voice, HIS promptings and you will begin to walk in HIS strength. Yield to HIM...

May you walk in HIS power and rejoice in HIS goodness as HE makes HIS ways known to you!

Pastor Ron

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Pastor Ron


I feel comfortable answering questions pertaining to all aspects of Christianity and the Bible. I have been able to help those who need biblical counseling in the areas of personal discipleship, bible study, study helps, prophecy, relationships, marriage, divorce, ministry, calling, gifts of the Spirit, demonology, etc. I cannot answer those questions pertaining to Denominational Christianity, since I have no experience nor understanding of it.


I have been involved in ministry since 1978 and have been a Senior Pastor since 1988. I have taught through the Bible three times. I have taught completely through the New Testament five times. I have taught Bible College courses in two Bible Colleges. Before I became a Christian in 1977, I was heavily involved in drugs and alcohol and have since worked with those who struggle with addictions of all kinds through counseling, rehab and deliverance ministries.

I have a Bachelor's Degree in Biblical Studies and have taught in two Bible Colleges.

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