Christianity -- Christian Living/sex


Hi, I am 18 years old and I'm from Tennessee and I had an encounter with God when I was 7 years old. Since then I have been devoted to Jesus and have the desire to live a life that glorifies him and to be a light to others who don't know him. When I was 17 I met a boy who soon became my boyfriend within 2 weeks and we have been dating for almost a year now. He just turned 21 and is also a christian and is very passionate about Jesus. We both planned on waiting until marriage before having sex because we knew thats was God wanted and we never had an issue with doing so, until we crossed paths. We didnt plan on sleeping together, it just happened. We were suprisingly really comfortable with eachother that neither one of us hesistated to stop, because we knew that we had been waiting on eachother. And we thought it was just gonna be a one time thing. But we have failed to stop since then. We have tried and prayed about it but its still a struggle. My question is, how do we put God back first in our relationship and be more Interested in what God wants rather than what our flesh wants? I also have been struggling with asking God to forgive me, because im afraid it will happen again. I feel like i shouldnt even ask for forgiveness until ive completely stopped. I know thats probably wrong and I have asked God to forgive me before, but then it happened again and I feel like im taking his forgiveness for granted ? Any advice would be appreciated

Love is the joy that comes from God when we care about the benefit of God, and the benefit of another person more than our own self.Mark 12:30) 'And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the first commandment.

True love is a decision that begins with giving your heart to God. God desires that you love Him with all of your heart. We are only to give our whole heart to God, and not to any other person. (Proverbs 23:26 NKJV) My son, give me your heart, And let your eyes observe my ways. The most important commandment given by God to us, is to "love the LORD your God with all your heart" We put God first in our lives by giving Him our heart; our mind and body will follow our heart. As we give God control of our heart His love will fill us and flow through our heart touching other people.In every relationship that we have with other people our relationship with God must continue to be our most important priority. Jesus says in (Matthew 10:37) "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. When we keep our relationship with God as the most important relationship in our life then we will have supernatural wisdom on how to express true love to other people because the Spirit of love, the Holy Spirit, will guide us.

In every situation that we come together with another person, or a group of people we are to do so in Jesus name. (Matthew 18:20) "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the middle of them." Every relationship should have the purpose of glorifying God, Jesus should always be in the middle of every relationship. In every relationship a good question to ask yourself is; does this relationship bring me closer to Jesus? Does this relationship bring the other person closer to Jesus? pray for lust of the flesh and repent,no more sex! In a good relationship, with Jesus in the middle, each person is coming closer to Jesus becoming one with Him and thus one with each other. Many relationships go bad because people leave Jesus out of the relationship and give their heart to another person instead of God. This will always lead to disaster. Whoever you give your heart to, is your God. People do this out of ignorant selfishness, seeking to get their needs met through another person, which is impossible. Only God can give us the love, joy, and peace that we all are seeking. When you keep Jesus in the middle of the relationship, you will maintain your inner source of love, joy and peace, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Even if the relationship with the other person does not work out, you will have inner stability, because God is your source, not the other person. Relationships go bad because one or both people loose their focus on Jesus in the relationship. When this happens selfishness takes over, instead of caring about the benefit of God and the other person. (James 4:1-3 NIV) What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? {2} You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. {3} When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

The greatest relationships are when two people come together in the name of Jesus. In such a relationship both people have an inner source for love, joy, and peace so that they are both free to be givers to each other, because God is their source of happiness and not the other person. Jesus says in (John 15:7-14) "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. {8} "By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. {9} "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. {10} "If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. {11} "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. {12} "This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. {13} "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. {14} "You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.

Relationships with Friends and Other People

(Deuteronomy 13:6-8 NIV) If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, "Let us go and worship other gods" (gods that neither you nor your fathers have known, {7} gods of the peoples around you, whether near or far, from one end of the land to the other), {8} do not yield to him or listen to him. Show him no pity. Do not spare him or shield him.

(Proverbs 12:26 NIV) A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

(Proverbs 13:20 NIV) He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

(Proverbs 17:9 NIV) He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

(Proverbs 17:17 NIV) A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

(Proverbs 18:24 NIV) A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

(Proverbs 22:11 NIV) He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.

(Proverbs 27:10 NIV) Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you-- better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.

(Proverbs 27:17 NIV) As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

(Micah 7:5-7 NIV) Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with her who lies in your embrace be careful of your words. {6} For a son dishonors his father, a daughter rises up against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law-- a man's enemies are the members of his own household. {7} But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

(Luke 21:16 NIV) You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death.

(John 15:10-14 NIV) If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. {11} I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. {12} My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. {13} Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. {14} You are my friends if you do what I command.

(Romans 12:9-18 NIV) Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. {10} Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. {11} Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. {12} Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. {13} Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. {14} Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. {15} Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. {16} Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. {17} Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. {18} If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

(Philippians 4:4-7 NIV) Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! {5} Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. {6} Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. {7} And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(1 Timothy 2:1-4 NIV) I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone-- {2} for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. {3} This is good, and pleases God our Savior, {4} who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

(Titus 3:1-2 NIV) Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, {2} to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.

(James 2:23 NIV) And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend.

Marriage Relationships

(Genesis 2:23-24 NIV) The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man." {24} For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

(Genesis 3:16-17 NIV) To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." {17} To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,' "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.

(Proverbs 31:10-31 NIV) A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. {11} Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. {12} She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. {13} She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. {14} She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. {15} She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. {16} She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. {17} She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. {18} She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. {19} In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. {20} She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. {21} When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. {22} She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. {23} Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. {24} She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. {25} She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. {26} She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. {27} She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. {28} Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: {29} "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." {30} Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. {31} Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

(Mark 10:6-12 NIV) "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' {7} 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, {8} and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. {9} Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." {10} When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. {11} He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. {12} And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

(1 Corinthians 7:2-6 NIV) But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. {3} The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. {4} The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. {5} Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. {6} I say this as a concession, not as a command.

(1 Corinthians 7:10-15 NIV) To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. {11} But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. {12} To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. {13} And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. {14} For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. {15} But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

(1 Corinthians 11:3 NIV) Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

(Ephesians 5:22-33 NIV) Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. {23} For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. {24} Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. {25} Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her {26} to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, {27} and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. {28} In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. {29} After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- {30} for we are members of his body. {31} "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." {32} This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. {33} However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

(Colossians 3:18-19 NIV) Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. {19} Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

(1 Peter 3:1-4 NIV) Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, {2} when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. {3} Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. {4} Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

(1 Peter 3:7 NIV) Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Parent / Child Relationships

(Genesis 6:18 NIV) But I will establish my covenant with you, and you will enter the ark--you and your sons and your wife and your sons' wives with you.

(Deuteronomy 6:5-7 NIV) Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. {6} These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. {7} Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

(Deuteronomy 11:18-19 NIV) Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. {19} Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

(Psalms 103:17-18 NIV) But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children-- {18} with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

(Psalms 112:1-4 NIV) Praise the LORD. Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in his commands. {2} His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. {3} Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever. {4} Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.

(Proverbs 22:6 NIV) Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

(Joel 1:3 NIV) Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation.

(Malachi 4:6 NIV) He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse."

(Luke 11:13 NIV) If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

(Ephesians 6:1-4 NIV) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. {2} "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- {3} "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." {4} Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

(Colossians 3:20-21 NIV) Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. {21} Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

(Hebrews 12:6-11 NIV) because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." {7} Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? {8} If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. {9} Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! {10} Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. {11} No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
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