Christianity -- Christian Living/Can he still be suitable for a Godly husband?
Dear Pastor Ron,
Thank you so much for offering your free and wise advice here on AllExperts.
My name is Nina, I'm 22 years old, and my walk in Christ is still new, only a bit more than a year. It's safe to say that it's not easy to find good Christian young men in this age group. It's easy to find ones who identify as Christian, but actually living out the principles contained within the scripture? They're more rare.
I've spent a lot of time in prayer, telling God that I trust his timing for when he wants to send me a good Godly man because I know that the love story he writes for me will be so much more beautiful than I can imagine.
About four months ago I met a man named Ryan completely by coincidence and I had lots of hope because he seemed like a rare true blue Godly man, going to church faithfully on his own (he has no family in the area) or with friends at least once a week, being an active member and volunteer there, going to bible study twice a week, and taking on charity projects. He reads the scripture daily and it seems like he's the true Godly man I'm looking for.
However, I recently discovered something about him that's been on my mind.
He told me that two years ago, he became sexually intimate with his then-girlfriend. He told me because he said I had a right to know and he also told me that he took full responsibility because even though he felt like it was a mistake to date her when her walk wasn't as strong, he recognizes that she didn't force him to do anything. He says that it was his fault, he got carried away, and he regrets not sticking to his Christian values instilled in him as a child.
He has confessed and sought repentance at church, taken on more volunteering, has spent lots of time in prayer, and says that the next time he is sexually intimate with a woman it'll be with his wife.
My question is, can he still be the truly Godly man I thought he might be at first if he's filled with regret for his actions, seeks help from his pastor, and has recommitted to His word?
With me he has been honest, respectful, taking full responsibility, and all of our dates are either in group settings (such as going out to eat in a public place with other Christian friends, many of them married young, or taking fitness or craft classes together) or one-on-one, but public such as a picnic in a crowded park or a coffee date in a crowded Starbucks.
However, of course his past bothers me. I can see myself falling in love with this man and he has brought me closer to Christ each time we spend together which is usually a sign of a good potential Christian husband. But I guess I can't help that voice in my head that goes:
"I'm saving my body and my purity for my future husband. So why didn't you save it for me?" (And I guess I have to remember here that it's he who is without sin who casts the first stone, and we are all sinners so perhaps it's not my place to judge this man, as only God can be the judge.)
and I also would like to ask you to advise me on whether or not this man can still be a Godly husband and leader of a pure Christ-centered home and marriage when he's made such a significant mistake in his past, even though he's learned from his actions and sought repentance.
Does he still have the ability to be a Godly husband for me? Should I continue to get to know him because he deserves a fair chance and fresh start after working with his pastor and reaffirming his values?
Or do you think that he's now no longer suitable for a Christ-centered girl?
If the man has truly confessed and repented, and there is obvious humility and fruit to confirm that repentance, it is my understanding that he can be forgiven and cleansed from all unrighteousness...
See 1John 1.
May you both be blessed as you each seek to do THE FATHER'S will beyond your own!