Christianity -- Christian Living/Marriage/Ceremony
Thank you in advance for your response.
This may be an unusual question but I was curious about getting married with a ceremony only. Not actually licensed and "on the books" so to speak. I am fully aware of all the consequences/benefits of being/not being legally married...my concern is more for the man that I love. I have debt plain and simple. Even though I am plugging away on it, it won't go away for several years or more. Once married, my burdens become his legally. He is well established and will retire in ten years - I do not want to interfere with that or his good financial standing. But, if we want to marry (to honor God) wouldn't a ceremony with the public declaration/commitment be enough? I have studied marriage and I realize that two become one and should be one force financially too but, in my case that just would be a very heavy burden on him. What are your thoughts?
Thanks for writing. I can see your concern here.
I would suggest you contact a lawyer about making up a pre-nuptial agreement. This is an agreement where your financial issues and your husband's financial issues each remain separate and the responsibility of the partner whose financial issues they are. Originally, pre-nuptial agreements were invented so that two parties could get married, but if they decided they wanted a divorce it made things easier and no one got stuck financially. But in this case where you want to get married, but don't want to saddle your husband- to-be up with your debt, this might work to help you out so you can actually be legally married instead of feeling like you are just playing the part under the table so you can live together and make everyone think you are married when you really are not. I think if this arrangement would work out for you, it would spare you some guilt of feeling like you are doing something you shouldn't be doing without being legally married.
I'm not a lawyer, so please check this out with someone in the know on these things. It just seems like an arrangement that should work in your case. I hope this will help.