Christianity -- Christian Living/understanding Christianity
I had always wanted to go church but was never given the option whilst a child and then it became very difficult for me to attend due to some of my children having autism and also caring for my mother who had a chronic lung condition. Somewhere along the road I seemed to have lost myself and caught up with just living, surviving. I felt disheartened and isolated by the world and what I was seeing around me and felt a deep sadness, I began to look at my life more deeply and began to question things.
Recently we were invited to witness my cousins husbands baptism and I just found myself drawn to church and we decided to give it a go, I wanted to learn more.
I have been attending a sunday service for a month now and have listened and thought and kept an open mind.
This Sunday during the service I was aware how relaxed everyone was and noticed people jumping and waving arms in the air, their faces lit up with joy and willing myself to be able to let myself go.
Suddenly I felt a wave of emotion and felt very tearful, I held it back and then realised that my whole body felt relaxed, my teeth were unclenched for the first time for as long as I can remember. I just felt light and somehow different.
When I got home I just felt so calm and all the anger and frustration just seemed to have been lifted from me. I feel different and don't understand it.
Is this a common thing to happen, can you help me to understand? Many thanks in advance.
God loves us infinitely and He desires to lead each of us to the eternal life and to the true happiness. God is the source of all good and all true happiness and He desires to share with all of us his inner peace. This is the reason why He created us. Only when we are in communion with Him we can be truly happy.
However God is perfectly Holy and Good; God cannot tolerate evil because evil is uncompatible with His good and holy nature. So we cannot be in communion with Him if we do not reject our sins and every kind of evil.
I think that the first meaning of our earthly life is to understand that we must reject evil and abandon ourselves to God's love. We must trust God more than ourselves; thius is the only way to reach the true happiness and the true life.
I think that in order to understand Christianity you should consider this fundamental question:
Why did Jesus have to suffer on the Cross?
I believe that each of us needed know that God was willing to accept such a terrible suffering for us, in order to really trust God. Every man needed that proof of love, and God, who knew this, has accepted to give him what man consciously or unconsciously asked to Him. Jesus had to suffer and die that way to convince us about God's goodness and God's love towards us. It is man's obstinate distrust against God that has forced God to give man that proof of love, the proof he needed to trust God. By His death on the cross, Jesus destroys our distrust and our doubts, and He gives us the strength to believe in Him and trust Him. This means that each of us is personally responsible of Jesus ' sufferings and death. This distrust, this lack of faith in God is just the essence of the original sin. Christ's Passion has reconciled us to God because it has uprooted from our heart, our distrust and doubts about God; it has satisfied our (conscious or unconscious) desire and need of a proof of love, so that it has given us the strength to trust God and feel loved by Him. I can summarize my thoughts as follows: Salvation implies a deep change of ourselves. God has the power to change us but He wants to do that with our consent. Man cannot really accept to be changed by God and he cannot be in comunion with God as long as even a shadow of doubt and distrust remains in his heart ( it must be stressed that such a distrust may exist even without the man is aware of it, at the unconscious level). God had to destroy every shadow of doubt and distrust in our heart and He has chosen to give us the greatest proof of love that may exist: Christ's Passion.
I hope this may help you.
Please write again if you any other questions,
your broher in Christ,