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Pastor Ron,

My wife and I are looking for some Christian advice/resources. My wife and I are raising our children in a Christian, faith-based home. My wife's mother is what I would call a "convenient Christian" which, as we know, is not a Christian at all.  I pray for her daily  She goes to church when it somehow benefits her.  She is maybe a Creaster. She has made it clear to us in the past that life is all about her and her happiness; She lives that way.  For example, she spends months out of the year overseas, feeding her worship of travel and tourism.  She is not around too much, but I think my wife (understandably) wants her mother more involved in our children's life. My wife is a God-fearing woman, but in this area I fear she wants to give her mother a "pass."  My wife "overlooks" a lot that her mother does around our children and in general.  She would not overlook these things if others did them. Make no mistake, my wife is an amazing wife and mother.

We are, of course, commanded to love my mother-in-law and we do.  We want our children to do so as well. Grandparents have a unique bonding opportunity with their grandchildren.  This can be good, or bad.  One issue is that young children do not know that loving someone does not mean you have to (or should) accept the way the loved individual lives their life. As is the case with all of us, it is impossible to hide who we really are.  That will  come out in the way she talks, communicates, and acts.  My mother-in-law will have an influence on our children.  She has a very powerful personality.  We are trying to find the balance between letting our children have a grandmother-grandchild relationship, without also having that relationship corrupt or unduly influence how we want to raise our children.

Thoughts?  Any good resources?  Thank you.

Regards,

George

Answer
Dear George,

Sadly, your delemma is a widespread one. Many non believers are in the roll of blood realities having much influence on children and those weak in faith. It is the responsibility of those charged with oversight to identify and curtail threats... Too few parents exercise scriptural premise however and fall to the favoritism of family and societal expectations. You have a fight on your hands, my friend...

Consider what YAHSHUA said in the following excerpts;

“And while He was still talking to the crowds, see, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with Him. And one said to Him, “See, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.” But He answering, said to the one who spoke to Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” And having stretched out His hand toward His taught ones, He said, “See My mother and My brothers! “For whoever does the desire of My Father who is in the heavens is My brother and sister and mother.””
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭12:46-50‬ ‭ISR98‬‬

““If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, and wife, and children, and brothers, and sisters, and his own life too, he is unable to be My taught one.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭14:26‬ ‭ISR98‬‬

Pretty strong language for sure! The word translated "hate" above literally means to "love less..."

The point being that to allow anyone to negate the spiritual growth and discipleship of another is a serious matter! May you exercise wisdom as found in The Scriptures! And may your children grow in the favor and knowledge offered them according to HIS WORD!

Sincerely,
Pastor Ron

Christianity -- Christian Living

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Pastor Ron

Expertise

I feel comfortable answering questions pertaining to all aspects of Christianity and the Bible. I have been able to help those who need biblical counseling in the areas of personal discipleship, bible study, study helps, prophecy, relationships, marriage, divorce, ministry, calling, gifts of the Spirit, demonology, etc. I cannot answer those questions pertaining to Denominational Christianity, since I have no experience nor understanding of it.

Experience

I have been involved in ministry since 1978 and have been a Senior Pastor since 1988. I have taught through the Bible three times. I have taught completely through the New Testament five times. I have taught Bible College courses in two Bible Colleges. Before I became a Christian in 1977, I was heavily involved in drugs and alcohol and have since worked with those who struggle with addictions of all kinds through counseling, rehab and deliverance ministries.

Education/Credentials
I have a Bachelor's Degree in Biblical Studies and have taught in two Bible Colleges.

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