Expert: Phillip Senn - 8/7/2005

Question
Dear friend,

I am contacting you because I have a concern that needs attention from an expert, such as yourself. I do not where else to go and ask for help. I will try to make this as short as I can. My best female friend (former girlfriend) is the one that introduced me Christianity, and I am thankful to her for that. She does not drink nor smoke, however she thinks it is ok to be with other people who are in the act of drinking. From my understanding just because a particular action does not hurt us (not drinking), it does not mean we are not sinning. (See attachment below from www.ChristianAnswers.net) I am totally and completely against drinking, and I think that alcohol is a liquid version of the devil. Alcohol is how the devil accesses us and works out evil thru us. I am a refugee from Bosnia and I have seen how alcohol effects what people do and how they think. My question is whether a Christian is allowed to go out with friends and acquaintances and sit with them at a bar while they are consuming alcohol (even a single drink). I believe it is wrong, but my friend thinks that as long as she is not drinking she is fine. I see her actions as offering support to those who are drinking, just by being there with them while they are doing it. I think the right thing would be to walk away from situation like that to let your friends/acquaintances know that you do not support what they are doing. Another example would be if I were to attend a gay marriage. By doing this I would be offering support for a sinful action. What if I was standing with a group of merciless KKK killers? I am not part of the group, but if I am standing with them in a protest (not on the opposite side of the street) then I would be supporting them. What does the bible say about this? What scriptures say it is wrong to do this? I would like to set my friend on the right path, just like she set me, but I need help.
Thanks in Advance,
JG from Jacksonville, FL

If you do not know, don't have time help me, or do not wish to do so, please direct me as to where I can find the answer.




We must evaluate our actions not only in relation to God but also in relation to their effect on our family, our friends, and other people in general.
1. Even if a particular thing may not hurt us personally, if it harmfully influences or affects someone else, it is wrong. "It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak... We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves" (Romans 14:21; 15:1).


Answer
Thank you for your question. It is one that the Apostle Paul dealt with in 1 Corinthians 5:9-11. He writes, "I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with  fornicators: Yet not altogether with the  fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat".

The Apostle Paul was saying to us that if we were to completely disassociate ourselves from all people that are not obeying God perfectly, then we would have to leave the world. Our responsibility in this world is to be salt and light to the world. If we are not associated with those that are lost that do these things (not all that do these things are lost, nor all that do NOT do them are saved), then we will never have opportunity to reach the lost with the Gospel of Christ Jesus.

On the other hand, there are those that are brothers or sisters in the Lord that are sinning against the Lord by their actions. They are to be dealt with as brethren, 1st to admonish them in the Lord in a 1-1 conversation, 2nd, to take 2 brethren with us to mark their words, and 3rd, to separate fellowship from them.

Whenever we speak to someone, whether brethren or not, our desire should always be to honor the Lord and to minister to them reconcilliation, never condemnation.

In answer to the part of your question concerning condoning by association, I have a brother that drinks and his friends drink also. I paid for his birthday celebration, but told all guests that because of my convictions concerning alcoholic beverages, I would not be paying for any of their alcoholic beverages. It was understood by all, and there were no hard feelings. I had made my position known in a loving and kind way, but without being judgmental towards them. It has opened dialogue with some of them concerning my religious beliefs, and even one has quit drinking because of it.

I hope that will be the desire of your friend as well, that she may reach the lost with the message of the Gospel, and that those who are believers will come to undersatnd why she doesn't drink. But if she says nothing, and acts as if she doesn't disapprove, then I would agree with you that she is condoning their actions, and that is how they will perceive it.

I hope this answers your question. If I can be of any further assistance, please don't hesitate to use allexperts.com. Also, please rate this answer when given the opportunity.

With Love In Christ,
Phillip Senn