Expert: Dr Eddy Cheong - 11/12/2006

Question
A man/fathers says he is a Christian yet his actions go against everything that the Bible teaches.  He constantly withholds treating his wife like the Bible says he should treat her. He tells his children "if you go to church I will take you to the movies, or to his wife says "I wouldn't treat you this way if you went to church" If they don't go then no movies, no treating the wife nicely.   Then  he wonders why his family is turned off by even going with him to church because of the way he treats them when they don't, and even when they do...  How does a wife/older child respond to this type of treatment?   He doesn't feel that he is even doing anything wrong?  

Answer
The Lord Jesus defines a child of God (true follower) as one who does the Will of the Father..

Matt 12:50-13:1
50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."
NIV

There are many namesake 'christians' who make not make it to heaven...


Matt 7:21-23
21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'
NIV

Notice again that doing the Father's will is the hallmark of a true Christian. Calling Jesus 'Lord' or exercising charismatic gifts are not by themselves true indicators of a child of God. I do not know why the Man you mentioned wants his family to go to church on the basis of the incentives you mentioned. A true christian wants to go to church to worship God and fellowship with fellow believers. They do not need any incentives to do this.