Expert: Kit Goins - 12/1/2006

Question
We were together 4 yrs until I kicked him out because of his starting fights in our home late at night and upsetting me and my daughters.He then went to the homeless shelter and after 2 months we begged him to come bak and start over, he said he was 'working' there for us and working for God. I find out now he was after women there, all the time he was calling me every day telling me how much he loved me.
he was kicked out of the homeless shelter for using the
internet to look for women.This all happened before we got a
marriage license[a month ago]. Yeah, dumb stupid me, still thinking
I could change him or save him.
Monday night I saw him at the library with his bags with him, he said
[ and I've noticed] that he was short of breath and that he had
chest pains. Being a kind hearted fool, I said 'throw your bags in
the trunk and I'll get you to the hospital'.
They took tests, and the doc said he needed a stent put in a few of
his arteries.My X said he had NOT taken his blood pressure medicine
for 'months'.I sat by his side for 6 hours.I've had 4 years with
this guy and 'WANTED TO HELP'.They admitted him and I went home.He
was enjoying the adoration of the nurses.
I went back the next day to see what the cardio said~I asked the X
and he said that he either needed the stents put in or open heart
surgery but neither of those procedures were done at that
hospital.At the same time a nurse came in the room telling him that
in 5 hours he could go home. I asked for a dr. and he told me his
heart was normal..that he just had an abnormal EKG, and they had to
check that out.No blockadges and that his shortness of breath was
from his smoking and not taking his meds. HIS CHOICE, RIGHT? But, he
was also looking for me to take him back home ~he's been gone 8
months.
I, honestly, didn't know what to do.I know he has an internet
addiction with women, he has even admitted that.I also wondered
about his cell phone, does he have women on there. I figured that I
had the right to know. He has looked at my phone many times and used
to hack my email , so I thought IF I decided to bring him home, I'd
need to see if he was talking to women. He had done that to me in
the past.He questioned me, got real defensive, but said I could
check his phone. Found 5 women.Said he knew their husbands. BS! I
called one of them, an elderly sweet woman who used to shop at the
store he managed[thrift store] and she said to me 'I've met you
before'. I said I was his fiance. I never met this woman, so he was
passing another woman off as his fiance while engaged to me.I called
another woman,she sounded very well off, you can tell by the way she
spoke,lives in the fancy side of town. She told me that yes, she
knew him, she had counceled him. He had told her he was an ordained
minister [the online kind..lol]and he had a rough life.She said it
was scary because he said to her..."If your husband dies, would you
marry me?" That freaked her out. Plus he had looked up her address
and asked her if that was where she lived.And as I was talking to
her, he would be calling in on my phone, then she'd be saying...he' s
calling in on my phone. He was calling us both.This is a happily [so
she says]married woman. A "Christian" woman.I cried my soul out to
her, she talked to my daughter and said we'd meet the next day for
sodas~never heard another word. Maybe she was out slumming~strange
for a Christian concelor to be saying to me"he just gets you with
those beautiful blue eyes". I'm starting to think the whole damn
world is SICK! Plus another woman said he constantly had women
coming in the store to see him. I mean this guy freaking SMELLS, his
teeth are brown & rotting out.He NEVER brushes his teeth.
So, thats where I stand~~~same old, same old.I can't do this
anymore. He was talking to this woman since we had our marriage
license. I think he was planning on getting sick to reel me back in.
He just never thought I ask to see his phone. Maybe I was wrong but
with his past and the fact that every word that comes out of his
mouth is a lie, I HAD to know.
When he was in the hospital, I brought him ballooons and a bear. The
next morning he had thrown them outside my door.I have a no trespass
order here from 5 months ago.Last night he came again, but late,
just like when we were together, he used to pick fights late at
night,he came and put a note in my door.."I love you, call
me"..instead I called the police and they arrested him.
I feel so guilty.I finally took a stand for myself. I mean he called
my cell until he filled up all the messages.I mean, WHY did he keep
me in his life if he had these other women?? And just the other day
he was saying...lets go to the courthouse NOW and get married.
Does he work? No. Acually sitting with him in the ER when the doc
said he might need heart surgery he was happy.His first words
were 'Can I get disability?'
WEll, end of story.Hopefully he doesn't call me again. He will just
talk to my recording.I finally know that my home is safe, at least
the cops care about us.I'll NEVER figure this man out, on some
level, I knew he loved me, but WHY the other women? I loved him so
much.I feel I was cruel to leave him out there with no place to live
but I didn't make his choices for him about getting on a church run
shelter's computer asking women for sex and sending them pix of his
private parts.I told him I was afraid of diseases since he always
has unprotected sex,he says no way, there was no one else. Yet,
there were rumors of him and a woman having sex in the thrift store
and even him with a woman in a field.How can I EVER believe him?. I hate having a
heart. I hate being nice. I tired of being the 'nice guy'.
If you guys can give me a bit of support, please, I need it.
Love you all.Sorry so long. Needed to get it all out of me. I just
need to know that I made the right decision.He wouls CONSTANTLY quote from the Bible to me.If I asked him about the other women he'd say 'Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged', I was only asking. He has told other women that he was trying to impress that he was an ordained minister...yea, an online one.He would call me, leave prayers on my msg machine, always sending me emails praying for me. He wanted to 'do Gods will'. Become a Benedictine Monk , then a Buddhist monk. Please help me understand how a man can profess to be a Christian yet behave this way with women???? I'm a real confused mess.  

Answer
Greetings in the name of Jesus...

This man is definitely NOT OF GOD...be sure of it.

In the book of Matthew ch. 24 verses 11-14 it is taught that MANY false prophets shall rise in the final days...and decieve many.

We are in those last days...so be very careful of whom you accept as a minister.

It's going to get much worse, my dear...this is only the beginning.

My only suggestion is that you get yourself a KJV bible and strongs concordance with greek and hebrew dictionary...and begin to study (not just read) God's word. So that you can and will know who is real or not.

I hope this helps, somewhat...
In His Service and Love
Bro.  Kit