Expert: Kit Goins - 1/5/2007

Question
I don't understand something. I have done my best to live for the Lord and have acknowledged him in all my ways by inviting him to work in my life and guide me in decisions etc... I asked for a godly mate because I want to be married and not live in sin this time around. I also wanted to find the love of my life this time and really have the man of  my dreams. So I prayed for this and I believe God sent this man to me. I have asked God to intervene in this relationship and bring us closer to Him and each other. WE have talked about marriage and intended to follow through at some point. Now the man that I love is diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and is not supposed to live past 6 months if chemo doesn't work. Why would God allow me to meet this man,fall in love with him,be so connected to him if he is not the man for me? Wouldn't he have closed the door if it was the wrong way to go?Why hasn't He sent someonoe else then?  Would he want my heart to be broken now? Is this God's judgement on me or Him trying to teach me a lesson? Am I not to be married at all? Am I doomed to be alone the rest of my life? I can't bear the thought. I am not one of those people meant to be single. I am a partner person and always have been. God knows that because HE made me that way. Call me clingy,needy or whatever, that is me.Thankyou for lisetening. God bless.

Answer
Greetings, Melody, in the wonderful name of Jesus, the christ.

First of all, I love your name...it's beautiful.

Forgive me for taking so long to answer...as i have a business to run, and have been busy lately.

The only way for me to answer this...is to briefly tell you about me, and how I also, had this same kind of thing happen to me...in a similiar way...but slightly different.

Earlier in my life, I met a woman that was younger than me...who had two daughters (by two different fathers).
One father committed suicide, and the other went his way.

When this woman and I began our relationship I would later realise that it was based solely on sex (at least in my thinking), and not mutual love. You see i was not a genuine christian then, as I am now. Both of us led rather very kinky lifestyles.
Anyway, something happened (won't go into details of this)
that led me to prison for almost 4 yrs. It didn't have anything to do with killing, or theft, or assault and battery.  During this time, I had become a sincere and knowledgable christian. In the first few months in county jail, I had decided one of the reasons why God had allowed this to happened, was to straighten out our very kinky lifestyle, and after doing so, we would get married, instead of living in sin as it was. So I asked the chaplin at jail to marry us, before i go to prison, and he said NO.  That he didn't feel it was right. Well I got upset, and decided to ask the church where i was given bible study in jail, and he said yes. We got married on December 31st.  
Ok, during the first three yrs of prison, my wife came every weekend to visit...it took two hrs there and two back. She never missed a weekend. Well, during my last yr in prison, her visits began getting shorter and she missed alot of weekends.  About six months before I got out, she sent me a DEAR JOHN letter, explaining that she had met another guy, and had his child (baby was already born), and that she wanted a divorce.  Needless to say, I was upset, and distraught, confused as you are now.  I couldn't understand
why God would allow this to happen.  It didn't make sense.
Especially when after all my time in prison, I was constantly studying His word, and countless parenting magazines etc. And after He allowed me to develope a REAL and Genuine love for her (later found out, that she really loved me,when I did not, during our beginning realationship). After about 3 weeks or so, of constantly praying,crying and asking WHY; I got my answer. God told me that he allowed this to happen because He had someone else for me, someone much better, someone I had always wanted.

So I began being happy with that news, and decided to just be patient and wait on God to bring her to me.  Well it's been over 10 yrs, and I'm still waiting.  Recently I got back in touch with my high school sweetheart and thought it was her (we had talked about getting married after high school, but we went our separate ways). Plus, I recently around that same time, was helping a young woman from allexperts...and she was a prophet, and told me that she seen a woman with shoulder length blonde hair, standing outside in the middle of two big bushes in front of her door. This woman wore glasses that was big-framed. This was after me praying alot about this woman God had for me.

In any event, if the above doesn't settle your mind...then all i can say is that perhaps the reason why you met this man...wasn't so that you marry him...but that thru your new found faith, you could help this man live out his last remaining months happy and fulfilled by teaching him about Jesus etc. Perhaps God is going to heal this man, and use his testimony to this event in some mighty way.

AS I read your email, and the questions you ask...it brings to mine the same questions I asked God.
I would continue praying and asking God for your answers...and remember that Daniel prayed a long time...before his answer came. If you need help in learning how to here from God let me know.

I hope this helps...Melody
In His Service, and Love
Bro.  Kit