Expert: Phillip Senn - 6/30/2006

Question
thanks for your answer concerning wine drinking. i decided to just stick with sparkling grape juice for my romantic dinner. if drinking wine would cause a brother to fall then i will not drink as long as the world stands. i guess i probably was looking for someone to give me an ok to drink. enough with that, i have another concern. i have always been a quiet person as it relates to voicing my opinion, even if i know that my input is needed. since iv'e been saved i have become more vocal, especially when it concerns our Lord and Savior. i take the time to ponder my thoughts and feelings concerning different situations. i find that i have a hard time with people who opose or dissagree with things that i feel strongly about. i really don't like confrontation and when i no that confrontation is coming it almost makes me sick. i find myself being able to speak out mainly when i'm angry. sometimes i wonder if it's my personality or if it's something that i just have to press through. even as i right this letter i sense that this is something that i have to defeat. i know in order to be effective in my faith i'm going to have to be able to deal with opposition. i'm an easy going guy but i feel that sometimes my compassion gets in the way of my decision making.i believe that i may be a people pleaser. i know that i cannot please God and please man at the same time. just by virtue of obeying God is going to cause people to be offended. can you give me some Godly council on how to better deal with how i feel when i have confrontations and when it becomes neccessary to rebuke or correct. i am a supervisor on the job and it feels like i'm hyperventilating when i have to give someone orders. i hate feeling this way. i know that i'm great and i just need some guidance concerning this dilema. thanks a whole lot

Answer
Mr. Scott,

I suppose that we are like minded in this matter. I also am one that doesn't like confrontation in a confrontational manner. If confrontation must come, I prefer that it be handled in a mild way. I think that is what the Apostle Paul meant when he declared, "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault (confrontation time), ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness;  considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."

Other passages also come to mind, but this one suffices to explain my position.

As to whether or not it is a personality defect, I would say it is a personality strength. I do not see it as a "man-pleasing" trait rather than a "God-pleasing" trait. We are called to live peacably with all men as much as is possible. There are times when we must respond with strength, and at the same time respond kindly. We can only do that under God's direction as the Holy Spirit guides us.

There will be times of anger. Jesus experienced that, not because of the opposition to Him, but to that which was supposed to be dedicated to His Father's purpose (the synagogue). Paul also experienced that when faced with those in authority that opposed the work of God.

As far as advice, the best I can offer is to encourage you to start each work day with a period of prayer. There is nothing that will strengthen you for tasks that you face than to get alone with the all powerful God of the universe. Jesus always spent time in prayer before facing any task that required Him to lay aside the human feelings and rely totally on the Spirit of God to guide. I would hope you see that as something that God can use to strengthen you for those tasks at work that sometimes seem unpleasant.

I appreciate this opportunity to assist with your questions. If I may be of further assistance, please don't hesitate to use allexperts.com to contact me.

With Love In Christ,
Phillip Senn