Expert: Kit Goins - 10/8/2006

Question
Hello,
my name is Sandra and i live in Missouri. I really don't even know where to begin. I am 41 and married to a man i love very much. I just can't imagine living life without him. The problem is he is from Nigeria. I moved to Nigeria to be with him nine months ago. That was the first time in my life I had ever left the USA. Nigeria was a terrible shock. The suffering and poverty is heart breaking. I've come back to the United States in order to file a petition to allow him to move here to the states. I've only been home for two days now. I am staying with my parents. I'm an only child. But it seems my husband does not qualify to immigrate to the united states because i don't make enough money. You see I have suffered from major depression for 31 of my 41 years and I am on Social Security disability for it. The only way i can get him over here is if I have a co sponsor. I've asked my parents and my dad i think would be willing but my mother is against it. What hurts me the most, although i cannot go into details, is my  mother has always been emotionally abusing to me at various times throughout my life and even now she truly enjoys it when she sees trouble or heartache in my life. She can't help it though, her mother did the same thing to her only much worst. I have two choices. I can stay here and be seperated from my husband for the rest of my life, or go back to nigeria. It's not just the suffering over there, the heat is unbearable for me and my depression is extremely aggrivated. It's 2:00 a.m in the morning here and i just couldn't sleep. I miss my husband and i don't know what to do. I'm a born again Christian, but it seems everytime i trust God, he lets me down. I don't know why. Perhaps God wants me to suffer for all the wrong in my life. I've asked forgiveness but God still hides himself from me and when I talk to him....he turns his back on me. right now i feel like I don't mean anything more to God then i do to my mother. One of the other things I suffer terribly from over in Nigeria is Malaria. Even now it has not been erradicated from my body. It comes back every three weeks and it is soon due to rear it's ugly head. Malaria is fatal if it's not treated. I've come to the decision to end my life. I don't want to live here without my husband and I can't bare to live in Nigeria. You know according to the bible it is not God's will for us to be seperated. "What God has joined together let man not seperate." and I've asked God to please not let us seperate and it says in 1john 5:15 he says if we ask anything according to his will he hears us and if we know he hears us then we know we have the petition we ask of him. But it sreems as if the promises in the bible are not for me. So here I sit all alone. I don't have my husband, I don't have God. What happens if a saved child of God commits suicide?

Answer
Greetings, in the wonderful name of Jesus...

First of all, allow me to say this...
you said this  "1 john 5:15 he says if we ask anything according to his will he hears us and if we know he hears us then we know we have the petition we ask of him."

I think that you (like others) miss the more important part of this verse...look more carefully at this verse.

For each promise in God's word...these promises are CONDITIONAL, in other words, IF you do this, He will do that.

Do you see where it says "if we ask anything according to his will"..?  Well this is saying IF YOU ASK ACCORDING TO HIS WILL. What He is saying here...is that you MUST ask ACCORDING TO HIS WILL. So what I'm trying to say, is this;
How do you know for sure that it IS/WAS God's will, for you and your husband to ever get married in the first place?
Also ask yourself this...DID GOD PUT YOU TWO TOGETHER? Or did you two just think that God wanted you both together?

This is what you should be concerned with the most. I'm not saying that it wasn't God's will, I'm saying that it's possible that it was not God's will in the first place, but the both of you got married anyway. Therefore the verse..
"What God has joined together let man not separate." this goes along with the one above...saying IF God put you together, then let no man separate.

Second, do not, under any conditions comit suicide...it is sin...the reason it is , is that God created you and I, therefore He owns us, we do not have the right to kill ourselves when we do not own our bodies.  Those thoughts of suicide are coming from the devil...so do not listen to them. Depression also comes from satan. You must understand this one important fact...all illnesses and/or sickness is brought about by the devil. So, claim right now in the name and authority of Jesus, the Christ savior, that you are healed ...claim this by FAITH, believe it with all your heart and soul, and AS YOU BELIEVE,SO BE IT .
God never wants His child to suffer...at all. He wants to bless us with health, riches, and happiness just as much as an earthly father would want the same for his child.

Thirdly, it seems to me that you are under attack by satan and his underling demons...therefore you need to seek deliverance.  I would ask your minister if he knows of any ministry around that deals with deliverance, and if he doesn't know...then go to the library and read what you can about the deliverance ministry, Derek Prince is a good start. also try Kenneth Hagin.

Finally, I would (if you are healthy enough) try some prayer and fasting for at least 3 days. Then after coming off the fasting...ask God what He wants you to do as far as your marriage is concerned.

I hope this helps...
In His Service, and love
Bro.  Kit