Expert: Brenda Martin - 8/13/2004

Question
My dad and I just spent a week together for the first time in about 7 years.  The topic of religion came up and I told him I didn't believe in god and explained my reasons for my beliefs.  And to make a long story short he can't even try to understand my beliefs and I can just fell the disappointment and disgust he now fells for me.  I can't change the way i fell and he seems to believe him saying I need to believe in god will change what i feel.  Am I wrong for not believing or should he try to understand me. I belived in god till I was probly 16 or17 and I wish I still did but I can't change what I feel now.

Answer
"AM I WRONG FOR NOT BELIEVING OR SHOULD HE TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME. I BELIVED IN GOD TILL I WAS PROBLY 16 OR17 AND I WISH I STILL DID BUT I CAN'T CHANGE WHAT I FEEL NOW".

I can completely understand why you "don't believe"if I didn't possess all the facts, I know I would doubt the existence of God also. So the only difference between you and me is, I KNOW the facts, whereas you have just been brought up to believe it is the right thing to do (having a belief) and that is not a strong enough reason to believe or keep on believing.

You need cold hard facts, information, things you can reason on and make up your own mind, see if the evidence points to the existence of a Creator, or not. So I would urge you to get the facts first, then make an informed choice, not one based on feelings or emotions.

Many people stop believing in the existence of a Creator because of the mess the world is in, and you cant blame them, then others too stop believing because of the hypocrisy they see in religion, (and I agree there's plenty of that) but what these ones fail to understand is, there are answers to these questions, good answers, logical answers.

A messy room doesn't tell you; no-one built the house does it? It just tells you the occupant doesn't keep it tidy, right? And just because wrong things go on in religion doesn't mean God is a party to these wrong things, or that he didn't create man in the first place does it ?

I would say to you if you are able to come up with solid reasons for not believing, I'm sure your dad will be more understanding when he sees you have really thought out this decision, but he will not listen probably, when it is just "feelings" you are basing your decision on.

If you like, I will be happy to provide information from both sides, then you can look at the evidence and base your decision on what you've learned. But please don't give up believing due to feelings, feelings can be wrong you know, they are not to be trusted.

All the best
Brenda