Expert: Reverend Ramona Carlene Stonecipher - 12/23/2010

Question
I am 17 years old. My reputation is better than most people's. My friends and family know me as a strong and true Christian; someone who follows God with all of his heart. I've grown up in church all of my life and I love it. God is a very big part of my life but there are thing about me that no one knows except God. I struggle every single day with temptations that seem to eat me alive. Honestly, I give into them half of the time and it devastates me. About 6 months ago, I realized that it was time to stop. I began pursuing a better relationship with God by reading the Bible every day and talking to Him more that I was. I became closer to Him but the daily temptation still knocks at my door. Half of the time, I answer, regretting it every single time. I'm ready to stop. I'm living a lie in front of everyone. No one knows my struggles. No one knows my regrets. The pain that I have caused myself is simply unbearable.

There are 3 major things that I need:
-Prayer
-Advice on resisting temptation
-Advice on truly getting closer to God than ever

    Please and thank you,
    Jordan

Answer
Jordan,
Thank you for writing.  You are in great company, in regard to temptation.  Let me focus your attention on one of Paul's teachings. See: Roman's : 15-19.  I dare say, Paul was beating himself up......
            "For what I am doing, I do not understand.  For what I 'will' to do,
             that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. (Look at verses 18
             and 19) "For I know that in me (my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to
             'will' is present with me, but how to perform what is good, I do not
             find.  For the good that I 'will' to do, I do not do; but the evil I
             'will not to do'..., that I practice.

No look at verses 24-25:  "O wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this
                          body of death?  I thank God - through Jesus Christ our
                          Lord! So then, with the Mind I Myself serve the law of God,
                          BUT WITH THE FLESH THE LAW OF SIN."

What I am pointing out Jordan is, Paul truly understands your situation. Your mind tells you one thing but the flesh wins out.  I would suggest that you sit down with a loving Pastor and ask him to go over Romans 7 and  with you. Read it together and discuss with him/her the frustrations of that teaching. Ask questions. Share what you are comfortable in sharing. Tell the Pastor that you can identify with Paul.  People hold you in high esteem like Paul, but you struggle and you fail.  Ask the Pastor how you are to handle the failings- the temptations.

You are only 17. And you are a Christian under construction.  You need support and guidance to be able to grow strong in your faith.  In regard to prayer, read Romans 8:26-28.  Dwell on those scriptures and discuss them with your pastor.  Dwell on Romans 8:31-39.  You will find hope here.

My advice on getting closer to God is simple. As you discuss the scriptures and truly understand what the Spirit is writing, you will know the mind of God. When you know the mind of God, you are closer to Him.  It's just like any other relationship - when you 'know' someone, you say you re 'close' to that person. When you know how they think, act, speak... teach.... you know them. It's only when a person is distant from you that you don't know them or understand them. God wants you to understand Him.  He gave you His Spirit so you could understand and know Him personally.

While we are all sinners Jordan, and all have fallen short of the glory of God, Jesus came to save us and forgive us.  Just as Paul said, "...neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separte us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  God's love is unconditional. You must remember that.

When we sin, we break fellowship with God, so obviously, we don't want to do that. We're warned not to 'quench' the Holy Spirit of God in our life.  The Scriptures tell us that no temptation is so great to overcome us.  This tells us that at the moment of temptation we have a way out!  That's when we Pull on the Power,my friend.  Rom. 8:26 says, "..the Spirit also helps us in our weaknesses." Right then and there, you need to call on the Holy Spirit for help. Why? Look at the verse and see if it explains your predictement.  "For we do not.... (for I do not) know... what we should pray for as we ought."  For I don't know whatI should ask for - I've said it all before! There's nothing else I can say!!"  So where do you/I go from here, we ask.  Look at the next line......  "But the Spirit Himself (that's God!!!!) makes intercession for ME!!! with groanings  which cannot be uttered."  In other words it's above our understanding. What is it that God says, "My ways are not your ways, my thoughts not your thoughts - they're higher!"

Paul says in Romans 8:31, "If God is for us (me), who is against us (me)?"  My friend, when you know and understand these teachings, then you draw closer to God.  The closer you get to Him and understand how very much He loves you, the more you don't want to disappoint him or hurt him.  As a result, your faith grows and you become stronger against temptation.

Of course there are things you can do to not put yourself in a place of temptation.  Protect yourself - you know your weakness. Try to get at the core of your need - try to understand it. When you understand something then you can deal with it.  Understand that your sin or 'wrong choices' does not define you.  You are a child of God - a son of the King. You are holy. That defines you. Nothing can take that from you - you're sealed with God!

I think I have answered your questions.  In regard to prayer - keep it simple.  Simply tell God what is wrong. Confess your sin.  He knows it anyway, he just wants you to talk with Him about it.  Tell him your dealings with guilt and shane.  If you don't know why you repeat this sin, tell him so.  If you know why you repeat it, own up to your rebellion.  Tell him, like Paul, you know what's right and one part of you wants to obey, but the flesh is stronger. Be honest!
If you want His help, say so.  If you're saying you want His help but you really don't, tell him that too.  He knows anyway - He just wants to see if will admit to it. (Sorta like, "I need your help God,but not now. )  Just be honest.  Then sit down with your Pastor or a strong spiritual person, and ask him/her how you can improve on your obedience.  It's all about love, my friend. When we love someone truly, we simply don't want to hurt them.  If Jesus tells me that I can overcome - I believe Him. So I've decided to 'Pull on the Power' when I am tempted and turn and go the other way.  Most of the time I win. I too, am a Christian under construction.

Ask the Holy Spirit to speak in your behalf - He will. He's God.  Just turn your life over to Him and humble yourself.  You don't have to live a lie...  That is not God's way.  

Blessings,
Rev. Stonecipher