Expert: Leisha Hiester - 1/2/2011

Question
Hello, I have been having a big problem lately with pornography. I know it's wrong and I shouldn't look at it, but every time it comes across my way, my brain turns off and I feel terrible afterwords. I was baptized about a year ago and have said the prayer to be saved a few times. I know what I've been doing isn't right, and I've talked to my dad about getting a program on the computer to block all porn I might be tempted by. I feel like I should do something to stop this, and I feel so distant from God. It feels like a system of screwing up, asking for forgiveness, and saying the same prayers over and over again. Please help me.

Signed-
A lost teen.

Answer
Dear Andres,

Congratulations on a very brave first step. To recognize and admit we are not perfect and we have a problem is the very best place to be to start to change. The reason you feel terrible is that you have a conscience God gave you. What a wonderful gift our conscience is if we just listen, pay attention and decide to turn away from those things we know are harmful to us and to others. Yes, others, including God.

We don't often think about all the people in our lives our sin hurts. Stop to think about Facebook for a moment. It baffles my mind how many people I've become connected to through others. I suddenly learn I have 5 mutual friends with someone! My circle of influence goes so much farther than I even know.

Then, what about the very special partner God has for me? My spouse? My children? My grandchildren? Not to mention my parents and grandparents. I always tell my children, "Be the kind of person your dog thinks you are." In other words, our dog thinks you're the best human on the planet. He loves you unconditionally. God does too. He loves you more than you know. He sees you at your best. He believes in you. The difference is, God also has the power to help you. He wrote you a love letter in the bible. He said that he would be faithful to help you.

Here's one of my favorite verses, 1 John 1:9 (The Message)

8-10 If we claim that we're free of sin, we're only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won't let us down; he'll be true to himself. He'll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. If we claim that we've never sinned, we out-and-out contradict God—make a liar out of him. A claim like that only shows off our ignorance of God.

He'll also help you Andres to overcome that sin. Ask him for his help, his strength. Also continue to take those practical steps you've taken, like blocking.

If you recognize too that your future spouse is a beautiful gift from God with wonderful intimacy waiting for you, you don't want anything ruining that. There is nothing else in this world comparable to the beautiful lovemaking God gives a husband and wife. It is a precious gift worth waiting for.

There are lots of resources out there also, some online. Your problem is not a new one and many struggle with it. Focus on the Family is just one ministry that has a website;

http://www.pureintimacy.org/

Check it out.

I will be praying for you. Please keep me posted on your progress. It is a journey. I pray yours will not be long. Love in Christ, Leisha