Expert: Sandra - 11/8/2011

Question
My husband of 16 years has left me and his 4 daughters for another woman...13 years younger than me.  He has pulled me back and forth about this...telling me he still loves me, but he doesn't know what he wants.  At one point and time, he was a strong man of God, and had announced his calling to preach, but we both got out of church and made some terrible mistakes.  I have since gotten back in church, and am trying to strengthen my walk with God.  There have been many things happen that have delayed our divorce and I have been praying that God would guide me on what to do.  I feel as though God is telling me to hang on just a little while longer, but yet, there are times that I feel as if I need to let go.  He told me last night that he is giving up on me and is going to stay with his girlfriend, yet he says that he's sure that he'll never be completely happy without me.  I've got so much turmoil in my mind and heart right now and I am having trouble even praying about this anymore.  I just don't know what to do?

Answer
Hello Marie,
I so feel for your heartache, your broken spirit. so very much of this is going on right now, more than ever. People (men and women don't respect the sacred marriage vows)
This is a sin. They don't think the pain they cause the wife and children.
But they will never really be happy or have peace.
Before giving up,ask yourself, “Is my spouse a bad person doing a bad thing, or a good person doing a bad thing?”

Good people sometimes do really stupid things. However, if at heart they are good people, they are worth rescuing. It’s your choice, of course, and you can tell your straying spouse to leave and never return. Or, if he or she is a good person involved in a bad situation, you can fight to save your marriage. Our experience is that if a good person gets straightened out, not only can the marriage be saved, but it can be stronger and more loving than it was before
its up to you what to do, but don't give up and continue to pray.
God is still on the throne.
Father , we ask in Jesus name to return this man to his senses, touch his mind and heart, make him realize what a grievious sin this is. Give Marie the peace that she needs and strength
for this is so hard, that she needs your continual love and support, in Jesus name we ask. Amen.
Take care of yourself physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Your life will not end if your marriage ends. God will still be in heaven. He will still love you. Other people in your life who care about you will still care about you. No matter how much you love your spouse, life can go on and be good if he or she leaves you. The time to take care of you is NOT after the chaos has ended. You must do it now. It benefits you. It benefits your family. And, believe it or not, it often helps bring the spouse back, though you cannot do it for only that reason. I will be praying for you and hope that all will end well for you.
Your sister in Christ,
Sandra