Expert: Sharman Castillo - 4/20/2011

Question
I am a 16 year old boy with ADHD who fears death. Many people died around my age. All I can do is hope that im not next. But if i am next I want my life to be on track. A majority of my life has been trouble. My grandma died of Alzheimer, my 4 year old little cousin/ god child died by being beat to death by his stepfather about a year ago, my brother has autism, and my mom is always stressed out over bills. I always wonder how could it get worst. I am disobedient to my mother, I lie, I cheat, I steal. I even have more problems I don't feel comfortable posting online. Honestly I want to be saved so I can see my loved ones and hopefully while being saved I can learn more about Jesus. I want to make sure I believe in God/Jesus. I don't want to just say i do and not be sure of it. I asked other people "How do I know if I really believe in God" and then they ask me "Do you believe Jesus died on the cross" Then i just leave it alone because I don't want my own family looking at me differently. I don't know Jesus that much. I never had the time to read all of Matthew but i know about the birth, the king wanting him dead, and the devil trying to tempt him to fall off a mountain, and his death but just reading a book isn't enough proof for me. I try to pray but it doesn't work. I don't know what else to do. I want to believe in him but i just don't know how. I look outside and see the beauty of the word, but i don't know. I just want my Mom to have a financial miracle, my brothers autism to go away, my aunt and uncle to be 100% saved and most of all for me to have a guaranteed spot in the golden gates of heaven. I hear stuff like "God isn't real", "once you die you go back to dirt", and "The worlds going to end in 2012". Its all troubling my mind. Help Me Please. I don't want to go to hell. I want to see my family. Please Help me. I almost feel like crying.

Answer
Dear William


      Please forgive me for not writing yesterday, my computer went out yesterday and so I had to let it set and cool, thought it was going to blow for good but it is ok now.

      I read your letter and felt so bad for you because I understand exactly how you feel, I have gone through what you are going through, I want you to know right now this day at this time to stop fearing and thinking you don't believe in Jesus, because you already do, if you didn't believe in Him, it wouldn't bother you so much.  It is because you believe in Him that the Devil is so mad and trying to make you confused and unsure of yourself, that is what the Devil does.
      I want you to also realize that faith is the most important thing God wants us to have in Him, to believe and trust even though we may not feel or see Him.  Just trust and have faith, just be thankful. If you just think to yourself, you know what God, I don't know how to trust or really believe that I am saved although I trust you that I am, I need help.
      I guarantee you He will bring it to pass, prayer and reading the Bible does seem to elude us but if you just thank God a few times a day or like how you and I are talking just talk to Him, almost like you would an imaginary friend but know this God is real and He will be listening, anything you lack, He will give you, if you do this daily, you know just talk to your friend, God will begin to reveal Himself more to you and when He is ready He will make Himself known to you, you will have a real encounter with God, you will know it when it happens to you, I promise.  Just pray for your family, Father God please have mercy on my family and help me grow in you and your Son Jesus Christ, thank you Lord.
       It is that simple, try reading the book of John, it is really good and you will learn as go.  Don't worry about the world ending in 2012, this World will never end but it will change, no one knows when the Lord is coming, He could come today and when He does it is to take the Church, after that there will be a 7 year tribulation here on Earth, where the Anti Christ will rule.  So you see when people say the World will end next year, they are wrong, God has given us a detailed and in order prophecy of things to come and all of those things have to take place before God reveals the new heaven and earth.  But Hon if you confess with you mouth that Jesus is Lord and you believe Him and are thankful what He did on the cross and you want Him in your life then you are saved, no ritualistic or hyped event has to take place, it already has in the spiritual realm in which God lives and we cannot see.  
     It is truly the Devil trying to confuse and deceive you, if you didn't already believe, it would not even be an issue to you because you just wouldn't care, and the fact is you do.... so put a smile on your face and in your heart and know, that if you left this earth today you would be in glory with the Lord.  We have all done terrible things, none of us are innocent, that is why Jesus came, and as long as you truly repent (turn away from your sins, and ask God to help you because sometimes it can be hard to stop) and just have faith (which is like says, ok God I don't really know what to do, but I am just going to believe even if it isn't real, I am going to trust you even if people laugh at me or say I am foolish, I will be a fool and just believe you are God and you are real and that you love me, I love you to and thank you for choosing me) You my dear are a child of Gods, you are His (Jesus)  and He has not lost any of the people His Father has given Him.