Expert: Don Stevens - 4/10/2011

Question
Dear Pastor Stevens,

Where is the line drawn between genuine compassion and codependency? Some in the Codependency "Field" seem like Ayn Rand devotees and Social Darwinists."The poor you will have with you always" is made into an excuse not to help anyone and at anytime.

Answer this, and I will present in detail my current situation.

Any help you might give will be deeply appreciate and as an "All  Experts" counselor in another category.

Your colleague in Our Lord's service,

Answer
It takes a lot of wisdom to know when it is best to help and not to help. Because you do not want to enable someone in their weakness. Paul was very plain. If a man was not willing to work he was not to be fed. That's harsh to some but we are expected at some stage to grow up and help ourselves by supporting ourselves. There are many today born with some sense of entitlement as if they are owed something merely because they exist. That leads to dependence and can lead to codependency.

I hope this helps!