Expert: Carl Fuglein - 1/1/2008

Question
What is your answer to sexual orientation? I am gay and also a Christian. I believe homosexual orientation is a curse from god from the sinful act of divorce of the parents. My sexual orientation is no choice I will guarantee that, why on earth would we want it? I know from a straight man of god you could never, never even come close to understanding that. Just imagine for once  if I am right, whats gods answer to this? Yeah, your saying just be heterosexual..Sure, why don't you leave your wife and start having sex with a man, could you? I don't think so. Thats how it is for us to act a heterosexual life. I've tried it believe me. Is it gods will then for us to live without a partner and be unhappy and never have love, or companionship? Thats how I'm living, because I cannot satisfy a women nor can I succumb to homosexuality. This is a HUGE problem. 80% of all young peoples suicides are because they would rather die then be gay. Is that Gods plan? We have NO choice, how could we have been genetically made to be this way? I myself am very unhappy and have never nor never will know what it is like to love(sexually) someone. I have no reason to live, There is nothing I can do about it. I have been on my knee's crying to god to help me and make me straight, But its not going to happen and I have to accept that. This is Gods punishment, but towards the children. So do why burn in hell because of our sinful parents? You can't even begin to understand what we go through. Just try with an open mind, that maybe, just maybe there is nothing we can do about this. Then what? I have a close relationship with God and My mission from God is to educate others the truth on sexual orientation. Please reply

Answer
Allen-

I can't explain why God made you the way He did, but I truly believe it was not punishment.  Virtually all of us are born with a prediliction for sin, just different ones.  You have the desire for sex with a man.  I can't explain that any more than I can explain why I have lustful desires for a woman that is not my wife.  According to the Bible, that is a sin.

I think you understand the difference between being gay, and having gay sex.  Being gay is not necessarily a sin.  I could see you living in a celibate relationship.  Is it fair?  No.  But you're not going to become straight, so you need to learn to live with it.  And I think your thoughts on your mission is a good one.

Consider this - Jesus never spoke about homosexuality.  He DID speak about money.  I have a friend Julie who said this about that:  "my question is, why do some churches focus so much on yammering about homosexuality, but not a fraction as much about other "sins" listed in the Bible?  If I remember correctly, Jesus spoke some 200+ times against the sins of money and wealth.  Why aren't we all over that one?"  Interesting thought.  Why DON'T we talk about money - the Bible tells us that we're supposed to give 10% of our wealth to the church.  Average giving of church going Christians is around 1-2%.

I'm going to give you one more link - http://www.godmademegay.com/Letter.htm

This letter was written many years ago BEFORE there was so much controversy about homosexuality.  The guy that wrote is still alive, in his 90's.  Although I don't agree with him, it is the most compelling argument I've ever read for accepting homosexual behavior as NOT sinful.

I hope this helps, or it may confuse you even more.  But I'd love to hear more questions and your thoughts about this.  I'd love to continue our discussion - please feel free to write again.

blessings,
carl