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Christianity --Youth Issues/I lied to best friend please help!

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Sean wrote at 2013-07-12 10:48:10
Dear Jarelle,

I am so sorry that you are in the situation you are in, there's a saying scripture "Only the Truth will set you free"-, I interprete that as "That we have to face up to the lies and be honest with ourselves and others" All I can say to you is that to be strictly honest with your friend, and she be the same with you. You cannot make anyone love you, she is hurting and feeling betrayed, because she trusted you so much. It takes time to recover from such a hurt, so give her time to do so, I don't think she has completely forgave you as if she had she would be your friend again as she once was. I think, Jarelle maybe if you wrote out your heart to her, telling her how anger and disappointed you are for what happened, and ask her forgiveness- and then give her some time on her own (not bothering her - for the want of a better word) Maybe she is afraid to let you close in case you might hurt her again, fear is often a factor in true forgiveness, it would be no harm for to ask her to say what damage was done, to her confidence, to her heart felt fearing, you will have to accept what ever way she feels, as trying to force her to "be as she was before this hurt" WILL ONLY DRIVE HER FURTHER AWAY from you, pray that God will do whatever is best for you both, then leave it to Him (having done all you could with the situation). I will pray for you both- that the Lord will heal you both from this hurt, and that whatever his will shall be done. Jarelle one has to be on the receiving end to really understand the hurt of another who was betrayed, I was on the receiving end myself 3 weeks before my to be wedding- my bride to be, she had another relationship and was pregnant from him, it took me about 2 years to really trust anyone else, but I am glad to say I truly did forgive her- but it took a lot of heartache and pain, and unforgiveness before I did. Looking back now Jarelle I can see Gods hand in my life- you must understand "That you and I can only see to the end of the road- but He can see around the corner as well" and "That God brings good out of all things for those who love Him". I met and married a beautiful. loving, wonderful wife,we loved each other so so much, sadly my wife died of cancer some 40 years later, but I thank God for bringing such good out of my heartache. The one who betrayed me she married another person (the one she betrayed me for) I hope and pray they are happy, I pray for them always- and you know what Jarelle? I now see that God could see around the corner more than I and He blessed me so much, so don't lose heart- just learn from your mistakes, anyone can make a mistake or make a wrong decision - thats not the worst- its not learning from it that is the most destructive, Maybe your friend is now overcautious and fearful to take a chance again- can you blame her, also Jarelle if she never comes back to you- YOU TOO MUST ACCEPT IT---- AND FORGIVE YOURSELF TOO, and move on-you learning from the mistake you made- and asking God to guide you in your decisions in future- I want to end by telling you a little story with a moral which is revelent to your situation. "A woman who had just taken away the character of her best friend, went into confession- to confess it to a priest and to ask Gods forgiveness. After she confessed her sin- she asked the priests advice as to how to repair the damage she did with her tongue, He said to her "Now for your penance I want you to get two pillows, and wait for a real windy day, bring out the pillow cases and slit them open and let all the feathers  fly away with the wind- then go after them and collect up every single feature and replace them into their revelent pillow cases" The woman looked at him and said "But Father that would be impossible to do?" and he replied "So also is it equally impossible to give that person back their character you scattered everywhere". But that does not say God does not forgive us- Yes He does if we confess it from our heart and say we are sorry to God, and also say sorry to the one we hurt. Also Jarelle  you could gather some of the features by going to the people you told- and tell them that your friend was not to blame - that it is you who are, it might take some of the fire away??? Anyway Jarelle all I have said is by way of advice- not in judgement of anyone- we are all sinners, and we all make  mistakes- people may or may not forgive us, or we may find it hard to forgive ourselves- but God forgives us all, theres another bit of wisdom I got from scripture "If the fire is burning high and you want it to go out- take away the fuel from the fire, do not add to it"-- In your anxiety to put out the fire- by going over and over again to the person you hurt- may be only adding to the fire of their anger and unforgiveness- so having done all you can- leave it to God and if its His Will- whatever way it turn out- leave it alone, and trust in God and learn from our mistakes, God Bless You Jarelle- you will be in my prayers-- Sean


Christianity --Youth Issues

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Susan Milillo

Expertise

Whatever is on your mind, I would love to share what God's shown me through life and through His Word. I really care, and really will take your thoughts seriously.

Experience

I have been in 'youth groups' and helped out with them, and have worked with youth in other areas as well (in a school setting). Many kids and youth have felt comfortable opening up to me. I am very real and open.

Organizations
MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers)

Education/Credentials
I have a bachelors of science in Bible from Philadelphia Biblical University, with a minor in Counseling/Church Ministries. I grew up in a Pastor's home.

Awards and Honors
Musical awards, salutatorian in senior class (of 11)

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