Expert: Susan Milillo - 11/28/2008

Question
I recently moved from the washington to missouri. and i've made some really
good friends, but i remember when i first moved i was a completely horrible
bitch. Recently however, i have found God and have changed from the inside
so much. But a few months some things came up about things i'd said in the
past, when i'd been bitching about other people. Now even though it was at
least a year a go, some things are beginning to emerge and i've denied them
all despite the fact that i know they are true. i've repented a million times
over for everything i've done and i've sorted it out with the people who it was
about. But now some of their friends, who are older and really "gangster"
have been cornering me and yelling and screaming at me. it's broken me into
tears several times already and I don't think I can deal with it again. It makes
me physically sick even thinking about it so i've missed weeks out of school
because of the whole thing. I don't know what to do, because I just want it to
stop; and as stupid as it sounds I can't tell the truth because then everyone,
even my really close friends will hate me and then everything will be ten
times worse. I want to just leave me past and live for now and the future. I
have no idea what to do, I've been searching the bible and praying for things
to do. Please please help me.

Answer
Dear Kelly,

   Do you mind if I share this concern with my husband, and get his take on it?   I'm somewhat at a loss as to know what to say as far as gangster-involved conflicts go, and I want to make sure I say what will best help keep you safe!

You said that you sorted out these things - told the truth I'm sure you mean - with the people whom you directly offended. This is what is important to God, this is what really matters. Way to go!  

As far as your own friends, or even the friends of these people you had hurt, you could just admit that 'I used to be pretty mean, but God changed me from all of that and I'm a different person now'.  That would be a good witness, and it would admit truth without giving all the gruesome facts that none of those people - even your friends - really need to know all of anyway.    I personally believe that a real friend will stick by you anyway, no matter what you tell them you did before, but you are not under obligation to tell ANYONE the details of what you did before, as long as it is worked out with the people whom you offended.    You are forgiven, before God, and before these particular people you've spoken with to apologize. The devil is the one who wants to remind you of where you were. He wants to accuse you. The Bible calls him that, 'the accuser of the brethren'.  It's nobody else's business but yours, God's, and the people you had offended.  If anyone else wants to keep you 'on the hook', they are being inappropriate. Don't be made to feel guilty that you are not telling the WHOLE TRUTH to EVERYONE.  

I'm concerned for you when you say the gangster kids cornered you and made you cry -- Do you feel safe? Do you feel like your well-being or even your life is in danger?  That's where I want to discuss with my husband, if you don't mind (I'll wait till I hear back from you), what would be the best course of action to take.

God loves you, and I really care for you too and want to know how things go.
Please forgive me for taking so long to get back to you. I'll respond quicker next time!

Love,
SM