Expert: Carl Fuglein - 2/3/2008

Question
OK, this has to be about the hardest thing ever to admit... I've been addicted
to porn and masturbation for the longest time, probably masturbation for at
least 5 years, and porn for at least one of those. I had thought I was on the
other side of it... but just when I get confident I let down my guard and fall
back into it again. I really do want to change, but wish that I was easier! How
can I stop? I'm only 13, and I'm scared. I can't talk to ANYONE! How will I get
through this? Does God still love me? PLEASE! I need help.

I've been struggling with a lot of guilt, too. I'm going on a mission trip to the
Philippines in just over 50 days. Everyone thinks I'm such a great kid, and I
don't want them to know the truth.

Answer
Julia-

God still loves you, He never stopped.  It's good that you have recognized that this is an addiction - that's the first step to recovery.  It will be a difficult road, but you have to start by NOT watching the porn - unfortunately, the best way to stop watching the porn is by getting an accountability partner - someone you can trust, then by getting software at xxxchurch.com the software will send an email to your accountability partner whenever you surf for porn.  Knowing that someone else is going to find out is a deterrent. That website will also help you understand your addiction and provide other methods to help you stop.

Julia, I'm glad that you recognize the addiction.  There's not much that I can do for you but to urge you to seek some help - mom, your youth pastor, or a trusted school counselor.  It's going to be difficult, I know, but hopefully you have someone to turn to.  If not, know that you are NOT the only person to have the problem - many, many people do, although usually not as young as you.  If you see your doctor without your mom present, it's possible your doctor could help.

I know I'm not much help, but all I can do is encourage you to pray about it and seek additional help.  www.xxxchurch.com is a good site that will help you understand and overcome your problem.  You could also call the Hopeline, a christian teen helpline that has live counselors that will talk to you anonymously.  Their number is 1-800-394-HOPE (1-800-394-4673).  You can also go to  www.theprayerroom.com and ask for prayers.  Please trust one or all of these resources to help you through your problem - they are more qualified than I am.  I will pray for you.

hugs,
carl