Expert: Carl Fuglein - 2/28/2008

Question
I guess it all started when I was real little...just innocent touchy stuff...and it got way out of hand. I was addicted to masturbation for like four or five years and porn for two of those five. I am on the other side of it now...but still have a TON of questions.

Does god still love me anymore???How ca he...after I screwed up like this?
How do I keep from going back? What happens if I do???
And I still do have the temptation occasionally...how do I deal with that???
What do I do if I screw it up again?

Seriously...I'm only 13. And dead scared. I just don't know how to live my life. I've kept it all inside...even through all of my struggles. Nobody else has ever known. I really do want to tell someone (or sometimes I just don't. It makes no sense!) but you can't just go up to someone and tell them. I don't have an amazing relationship with either of my parents...but we get along for the most part. I've got a great youth leader...but youth group normally isn't much serious stuff. There are a few other people I might be able to tell...but they would go straight to my parents who would way overreact. *HELP*

Answer
Jules, I answered this question before.  Did you callthe hope line?  I seriously think you need to do that if you don't want to talk to your youth minister.  Their number is 1-800-394-HOPE (1-800-394-4673).


Here's my previous answer, which still applies.


God still loves you, He never stopped.  It's good that you have recognized that this is an addiction - that's the first step to recovery.  It will be a difficult road, but you have to start by NOT watching the porn - unfortunately, the best way to stop watching the porn is by getting an accountability partner - someone you can trust, then by getting software at xxxchurch.com the software will send an email to your accountability partner whenever you surf for porn.  Knowing that someone else is going to find out is a deterrent. That website will also help you understand your addiction and provide other methods to help you stop.

Julia, I'm glad that you recognize the addiction.  There's not much that I can do for you but to urge you to seek some help - mom, your youth pastor, or a trusted school counselor.  It's going to be difficult, I know, but hopefully you have someone to turn to.  If not, know that you are NOT the only person to have the problem - many, many people do, although usually not as young as you.  If you see your doctor without your mom present, it's possible your doctor could help.

I know I'm not much help, but all I can do is encourage you to pray about it and seek additional help.  www.xxxchurch.com is a good site that will help you understand and overcome your problem.  You could also call the Hopeline, a christian teen helpline that has live counselors that will talk to you anonymously.  Their number is 1-800-394-HOPE (1-800-394-4673).  You can also go to  www.theprayerroom.com and ask for prayers.  Please trust one or all of these resources to help you through your problem - they are more qualified than I am.  I will pray for you.

hugs,
carl