Expert: Brenda Martin - 5/19/2008

Question
Hello i'm Ashley. I am a christian and i try my best to follow the right path. I know i've done things before that im not proud of and I have stopped and repented and ive prevented myself from doing them again. However, I have a silly habit of fantasing about my future; which more includes sex with a imaginary husband (just a random name i gave a face and body to). Ive succesfully stopped it but then it happens again. I am a 17 year old virgin by the way. I am single right now. The fantasying used to affect my work cause i would go like a day living out my fantasing; talking as well. but never masturbating or anything like that.Wheni stop, its like i'm lazy and that time is taken up with tv and lying around; well that if i'm not in school. However this is like a very strong addiction. I think its hormones. what do you think?

Also i am really really confused when it comes to having faith and anything to do with Christ. I am totally terrified of the end of days, i/ve read it so many times. And I want to follow christ and spend eternity with him.Sometimes i just catch myself worrying wheter i should do this or that. I just feel like something is missing. I don't hear God like some people do. So i don't know if i'm making the right choices. I don't have faith like some people do. So am I the few name 'oh yea, of little faith'. Some people have a tremendous love for God. I love God. But i don't even know. If i say I love or should I say like a boy, its like i think about what he's doing, where he is and stuff like that. But I say I love God and it doesn't seem to me like I devote enough time and energy as with the boy. What should I do? I know my question is confusing. But i'm just hoping you can give a little guide or push or something to the very spiritually immature.

Answer
"I think its hormones. what do you think?"

Yes without a doubt--During the bloom of youth, sexual desires become strong. Powerful hormones are released that affect the reproductive organs. A youth thus becomes aware that these organs are capable of producing pleasurable sensations. And sometimes a youth may become sexually excited without even thinking about sex.

For instance, the tensions produced by various worries, fears, or frustrations can affect a boy’s sensitive nervous system and cause sexual arousal. A buildup of semen may in turn cause him to awaken sexually excited. Or it may produce a nocturnal emission, usually accompanied by an erotic dream. Similarly, some young girls may find themselves stimulated unintentionally. Many have a heightened sexual desire just before or after their menstrual period.

So if you have experienced such arousal, there is nothing wrong with you. This is a normal response of a youthful body. Such sensations, even if very intense, are not the same as masturbation, since they are largely involuntary. And as you grow older, the intensity of these new sensations will subside.

"I am totally terrified of the end of days"

I would say thats because you perhaps have been misled as to what they mean, the "last days" of (2 timothy 3;1-5) are not something to be feared as the bible tells us they will be followed by a paradise earth of God's making (Psalms 37;10,11,29)

"I don't hear God like some people"

We are told in the bible that God "speaks" to us by means of his word the bible,so accurate knowledge of the scriptures by study, helps us to "hear" what God says.

"am I the few name 'oh yea, of little faith?"

Faith is built on knowledge, so I would say you just simply lack knowledge of God & his purpose for the earth & mankind,that is easily resolved by a study of the scriptures with God's people. (Acts 8)

"it doesn't seem to me like I devote enough time and energy to God?"

You could be right, but then you are not alone, most youths spend a lot of time occupied with "fleshly" things, the only youths I know who "devote time & energy" to God are Jehovah's Witnesses.

I dont believe you are "spiritually immature" because your questions tell me your a deep person who thinks about spiritual things, you just need guidance, like we all do, so if you would like to discuss God's word here I will be happy to answer any further questions you may have. (john 17;3)

all the best
Brenda