Expert: Carl Fuglein - 6/1/2008

Question
My thought is that because I had seen some gay pornography, the chemicals caused me to become attached to it as well as the straight pornography, and even though I have not seen any at all for several months, I'm thinking that the chemical's influence is still there. I'm merely asking that if I were to upload some protection to prevent myself seeing anything like that, that eventually I would no longer have these gay thoughts, and no longer have a need for pornography. I'm just asking you if that is probably true.  Thank you for everything! (Hopefully you saw all five of these, and I promise this is the last one. Sorry about them all, but I thought up something else to say each time.

- Frederick.

Answer
Hi Frederick-

First of all, I'm not a priest, so there's no need to call me Father.  You can call me Carl or Mr. Carl, your choice.

You're just starting puberty, and there are tons of hormones acting on your body, and your brain hasn't really caught up with it yet.  It's not at all unusual for young men to think about other men, view gay pornography or even experiment sexually with another guy.  It's just part of growing up.  You say over and over again that you're not gay, and I would venture to say that that is true.  Most gays know it when they're much younger than you - although some people don't think so, I firmly believe that your sexual orientation is decided at birth.  So, don't worry about being gay.

Now you shouldn't be looking at porn at all, not even heterosexual porn.  If you don't trust yourself not to look at it, I would suggest finding an accountability partner - someone you trust implicitly, either a youth minister, trusted adult, or older guy.  Then download accountability software from xxx.church -- the download link is http://x3watch.com/ - go to the bottom left and download the free version and follow instructions.  What the software will do is record any porn sites you visit and report that to your accountability partner. The idea is that if you know someone else is going to find out about it, you won't go there.  Trust me, it works.  Also, go to this link and read about pornography addiction with teens:  http://xxxchurch.com/gethelp/teens/

You're going to be okay, Frederick.  Just trust in God to get you over the rough spots.

blessings,

carl