Expert: Dr Tim Gladu - 7/9/2008

Question
My name is David and I am 14 years of age. I recently discovered that I am not a homosexual. The way I discovered was that a boy in my neighborhood gave me oral and I didn't like it at all. I am very mad at myself for letting this happen I wish I could go back in time and stop it but I can't. I prayed and asked God's forgiveness once I did it and vowed never to do it again. It has been three weeks and I feel guilty. I am somewhat afraid of the STD's but not quite because I am clean and no blood was exchanged and I don't think he has anything because he never had sex and is only 9 years old. I can't tell anyone I am scared and don't want to I want to keep it between me and God. I know God has forgiven me but somehow I still can't forgive myself and forget it. Please what can I do? I go to church I am Orthodox but I did go to a Catholic School and have access to a Catholic Church. Should I go to confession there? I need prayer and I really want to change my promiscuous ways. I want to quit porn and masturbation. What should I do please help. I know I am forgiven but maybe I just need to hear it from someone else. Thank you and God bless you. I really appreciate your time.

Answer
David,

When we ask God forgiveness then He is quick to forgive and forget. You have to forgive yourself because it appears that that is the issue at hand. You need to find an adult that you can trust with this information about wanting to quite. You will not be very successful if you do not get help. Addiction is very hard to beat and we all need the help of other caring people in our life that can help us in the hard times. You need to find someone that you trust to share this issue with. If you can talk to your dad that would be my recommendation. I know that if my sons were having an issue such as this I would want to know and also be there to help them through it. If you do not want your dad to know then maybe your mother would be a good person to help you here. I am Baptist and we do not have confession. Christ is our Priest and we confess our sins to Him and He is the only one that can forgive us. If you are not involved in a youth group then that would be a really good idea because you may also find someone there that would be of great help. The time I spent as a youth minister was very rewarding and I would always help and would keep the confidence of anything that was brought to me. Seeking the Lord for help is always a wise choice, but sometimes we also need the help of those that God has given us in our life to help us through some of the rough stuff.