Expert: Susan Milillo - 8/13/2008

Question
QUESTION: I have started seeing a male but he is not a Christian and I am. My Christian friends say i should be seeing him if hes not Christian and that I should wait to find a Christian I love. But I cant get rid of him, hes understanding about my faith and has no problem with it, he just dont beleive it. Should I ditch him, or keep on seeing him? I'm so confused.

ANSWER: Dear Katy,

Hey --  

It's good that your boyfriend is understanding about your faith, and doesn't ridicule you for it. However, do you really want to live for and serve the Lord with how you live the rest of your life?  

See, the thing that inevitably happens is that you won't be able to do all the same things together, or talk about everything peaceably, because you have different standards for your  choices, different reasons for why you choose them -- and are coming from two- not only different, but opposing worldviews.  Just think, if we are at war within ourselves as Christians - 'The spirit wars against the flesh' - How much more will you be 'at war' with a husband who isn't the 'new creation' you are, and doesn't even have the Spirit of God?

It's so hard, these issues of the heart.  You really like him....  However, I noticed you said that you 'can't get rid of him' - Sounds like you want to get rid of him anyway?  Let me say, live for the Lord with all your heart, and eventually I think it may take care of itself.  Just love God, love God, love God...... He loves you more than you can imagine.  He will only bring you something wholly good.  

Listen to your friends. They love you, and you are very 'lucky' to have them around and in your life to speak to you the truth in love.  Trust Him to bring you whatever / whoever He wants to.

I will pray for you!
Love, SM

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thankyou so much for all of this, i spoke to him and he understood completly. Now i'm even more free in my worship and prayer because i made a sacrifice for my Lord. Thankyou for everything. I am still close friends with my man, and we still talk to eachother alot.

Answer
Awesome, Katy --  So you have let him go , and aren't pursuing a romantic relationship any more?  
Just clarifying - that's what it sounded like, except I guess I was confused by the phrase 'my man' - maybe that's just an expression!

God bless you!
Please keep in touch as you want to,
Love, SM