Expert: Susan Milillo - 9/14/2008

Question
I'm a 22 year old male who was born and raised Catholic.  Attending church growing up mostly consisted of me daydreaming.  In my adult life I have been more or less non-practicing as I disagree with the church's stance on several contemporary issues.  Instead of living my life every day by a list of rules that can't even seem to be agreed upon by the church, I long ago decided to simply treat others the way I'd like to be treated.  I have no doubt that I'm a good, honest, person and deep down I feel like that must be enough to get into heaven.

Enough background...

My big issue is that I feel as though my belief in God and the afterlife is more based on a fear of the opposite than real faith.  I find myself extremely afraid of death because in my heart I just don't know what will happen and I can't bear the thought of nothingness.  I realize I will never find an absolute guarantee for what will happen... but what steps might I take to discover a True Faith?  Do you believe because you were taught to?  Or because you have felt His presence?

P.S. Do you believe that all good people go to heaven?  Or only those who have been taught God's word and follow the "rules" to the letter?

Answer
For Matt,  ~~

      I really appreciated your thoughtfully honest question.  I don't know if people generally just don't think about life after death, or if they just try to push it aside, because it is certainly something we would need direct revelation from God to know about, isn't it??

      Okay, thumb-nail sketch:  The most important thing in the world is to have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  This simply means, that He took all our sin - past, present and future - on Himself, when He sacrificed Himself on the cross, and we get all His personal righteousness, for all eternity.    So, no rules exactly: the only 'rule' is -- put your faith in Jesus and Jesus alone for your present, future, eternal right standing - righteousness - before God.  And even this is not a 'good work' - the faith is itself a gift from God.  He is seeking us out, and calling us, even as we think we are trying to figure HIM out!

      I was not brought up Catholic, so I'm sure I could learn much more from you about the religion than I could really comment on now, but from what I understand, there certainly is a lot of emphasis based on rules, good works, what WE have to do to be right with God.   The conservative Christian circles I grew up in sometimes also had a propensity towards legalism.   But there always were many bright lights - true Christian men and women, who simply just showed me Jesus, and exemplified God's love and grace towards me.      

      So, Heaven and all God is and has is ours if we only believe on Jesus Christ and His merit rather than try to have our own.

      I think that is indeed very good, to try to treat others as you would want to be treated.   But you know where that idea originated?  Yep, in the Bible.   The two greatest commandments: Love God, and Love your Neighbor AS YOURSELF  !!      

      I guess the complication comes in when we realize that we are incapable of fully and perfectly doing this. And the Bible says if we break one commandment we are guilty of breaking the whole thing, because they all came from the same God.    

      But take this for example:  The Old Testament law said,
"Do not commit adultery".  But when Jesus came along, He fleshed this out in meaning by saying, "You have heard that long ago they said, 'You shall not commit adultery', but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.   Or that could of course go for women lusting for men, or of course same sex, too.   Now, I love my husband dearly, and have committed to being faithful to him for the rest of my life.   But I cannot do that perfectly.   I have sinned in my heart before through my eyes, my imagination, etc.  I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from with all this.  And of course anything short of total faithfulness in mind as well as body is what each one of us would like from his/her partner.  So I cannot perfectly love my neighbor - even my nearest neighbor, the love of my life - as myself, if I am brutally honest.   

      The 'rules' we are supposed to obey are only possible after we have been given a new heart by God Himself, through Jesus.    He gives me the grace and the power to love my husband as I would have him love me.  Since I still have a sin nature, along with my new nature from Christ, I still will not do this perfectly, or every second of my life.  But I am clean and forgiven and given grace beyond measure!

      The Bible says that faith is a 'gift of God'.  You can't work up the faith.  It's a gift that God gives you. If you aren't sure you have it, ask Him for it.    But please, don't put yourself under the constant stress and fear of reaching or maintaining some level of perfection.    Besides, who really defines what it means to perfectly love your neighbor anyway? Isn't it God who only fully knows the hearts of all of us?   So please, please, let Jesus Christ plead your case before the throne of God, and live and thrive in the expansive and liberating freedom of the children of God!!      

      One more note, keep in mind that many of these laws that you or I have felt the obligation of, truly ARE manmade, and not commands of God in the Bible at all!  Check out Galatians 5:1 - "..don't let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery...." - really, read the whole context, because the whole book is against legalism, and is for the freedom we have in Christ.

      I would love to continue this discussion with you if you'd like, Matt. I hope fervently that some of the things I've shared have been helpful to you.   Come to Jesus open handed - 'Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to Your cross I cling; naked look to You for dress, helpless look to You for grace, foul - I, to the fountain fly - Wash me Savior, or I die!!     

      I am continually humbled and grateful at His great grace on my heart.   Honestly, as I write, tears are coming to my eyes.  It's the 'old, old story', but somehow always new and more and more refreshing and celebratory!!  My heart-felt prayer is God gives you the gift of faith, and that you know Him with full confidence.   

      Whatever remains unclear to you, cry out to Him and ask Him to show you the truth.   He will honor your sincere seeking, I know He will.
He loves you!

      And before I close, READ THE BIBLE for yourself!! The answers are in there!   I was taught in the Bible, but I know I don't believe it just because I was taught it. It's a very personal thing to me, and I know God is in my heart. It takes faith for me to say that, but it is not just a mental assent. I have indeed felt His presence, many times as I've thought about His Word, and many times when I've prayed to Him.  And even sometimes just out of the blue, He has spoken to my heart.  And okay, yes, I do believe all 'good people' go to heaven - BUT -- please hear me, "No one is good save God alone" (a quote from somewhere in the gospels), and it is only through Jesus perfect goodness that even the most saintly seeming person will get into heaven.  No one is good -- only Jesus.  Take a brand new white car, and one that has been driven around through terrain for six months.  If you see the ridden one first, you might think it's quite white.  But if you put it next to the perfectly clean and dazzlingly white one, it really doesn't look all that good anymore.   We need to have, not 'a righteousness that comes by observing the law', but 'a righteousness that is by faith'  This is in the Bible! If you haven't so much read it for yourself, without someone telling you exactly their ideas of what it means, you've got to do it. It's just amazing, to see God's Word for what it is, and not what many men and women, and all kinds of religions, have made it to be.
   

Sincerely, SM