Expert: Carl Fuglein - 1/31/2009

Question
QUESTION: My name is Clinton, I am almost 15 and about 5 years ago my Mother married a man who was a Christian and eventually we all started going to church. I was the last one in my family to become a Christian and start going to church. It's only been about 8 months. I have a best friend who is not Christian and in fact he is Wiccan. We have literally been friends since we were taking baths together as babies and I know about 2 Corinthians 6:14 but we have so much in common it's like I can talk to him and we know what the other is going to say.

I think of him as my brother, he was there for me when my Grandfather died and he defended me when everyone was making fun of me for becoming a Christian in the first place. My mom knows this and she still wants me to invite him over and tell him face to face that I can't hang around with him because he is "walking in darkness".

He lives across the street and he is someone that I am close to like a brother. My Step-Dad who encouraged me to become a Christian in the first place and is a powerful man of God disagrees with my Mom and says that I should continue to be friends with Mitchell but also introduce more Christian friends into my life as well.

Then one more thing is that my Mom is really cold towards my friend when he comes over but my Step-Dad is nice to him. Mitchell can tell that my Mom doesn't like him any more but I don't want to tell him why. Bottom line is that this is a big problem between my Mom and I, and I would like some advice.

ANSWER: Clinton-

You're in a tough place, to be sure.

It's good that you want to remain friends, but you need to know and understand that Mitchell is indeed walking in darkness.  Being a good Christian includes witnessing to your friend, and it seems as though you have done that by wanting to remain friends.  I find it surprising that Mitchell would defend your Christianity, but that also makes me admire him a little bit for being inclusive and understanding your right to make your own decisions.

I think your biggest ally in all this is going to be your step-dad.  Your mom isn't going to change her mind easily, but if your step-dad is still welcoming to Mitchell, I would have a serious talk with him and see what the two of you could do to influence your Mom to be more accepting.  I don't really know what else to tell you.  You need to respect your Mom, but I feel that she's being unreasonable.

Hope this helps.

Carl


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: So you agree with me and my Step-Dad that abandoning him would be a bad witness and do more harm than good?

Answer
Absolutely.  Too many Christians get a bad name because they have a tendency to shun those who are non-believers.  I believe that we must reach out to them and witness to them, even if our only witness is being their friend.  I have an atheist friend who is very turned off by Christians, yet he and I are good friends.  Why?  Because I don't harp on telling him he's a bad person and going to hell.  I just tell him what I feel and know in my heart, and that it is his choice, not mine.  I've had some of the best theological discussions with him.  Someday, maybe, he'll see the light, but if I wasn't his friend, he wouldn't know what it was like to be a real Christian, reaching out to all.

hope this helps.

Carl