Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 1/9/2009

Question
MY BOYFRIEND AND I ARE VERY MUCH IN LOVE.  I DO NOT BELIEVE IN PREMARITAL SEX AND HE RESPECTS MY VIEWS.  WE DO NOT HAVE PREMARITAL SEX BUT SLEEP TOGETHER ALMOST EVERY NIGHT.  IS THERE ANYTHING IN THE BIBLE REGARDING SLEEPING WITH MY BOYFRIEND BUT NOT HAVING SEX WITH HIM?  THANKS.  KATHY

Answer
Hi Kathy,


Thanks for this great question.  I believe that you may be playing with fire.  If you love each other, you will be naturally physically drawn to each other.  If you are touching, kissing, hugging, and sleeping together, you will naturally be aroused sexually.  Remember, fornication is not just incourse, but any pre-marital sexual relationship.  Paul tells us that there are two ways to avoid the sin of fornication:

1.  Do not touch each other at all or..

2.  Get married.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2


Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

If it is true that you have not yet had sex, but you are tempting each other by sleeping in the same bed, one of two things is happening:

1.  You are making it real easy to fall into sin.

Romans 13:14
14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2.  Your boyfriend is gay or does not find you to be attractive sexually.

You are playing with fire!  Stop sleeping together until you get married.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don