Expert: Susan Milillo - 10/3/2009

Question
I am a 15 year old girl and I dated this guy for 10 months and we broke up for stupid reasons (they had to do with texting) and weve kinda been talking about getting back together and up until this point I've wanted to but I dont know anymore.  I was talking to my boy cousin last night and he is a christian and so am I and he was telling me that if we broke up over texting than our relationship must not of been very strong and that God has another plan for me.  Thinking about that has really made me change my opinion on somethings.  SO last was our homecoming football game and this guy I've liked forever was hanging out with me adn we had a lot of fun together adn he is also a brother in christ.  I really am starting to have a crush on him and I'm wondering if maybe God's plan is for me to start dating a Christian.  Tonight is our homecoming and I'm really hoping that my ex doesnt ask me out again tonight because I dont know what to do.  I am torn and just need help.  I've been struggling with everything lately.  Thanks :)

Answer
Dear Hal,

   Thanks for your question.   This stage of your life is not easy, with all the choices of the heart that must  be made, huh??
   Well, I'm assuming that the ex boyfriend was NOT a Christian?   I don't know if the whole texting thing as a sign of shallow relationship - reason should be the deciding factor of whether or not you get back together with him, unless you see this is just the tip of the iceburg. (Were there a lot of other signs of your relationship with him being not all that strong?)   BUT, if he is not a believer in Jesus Christ and you are, I would say definitely don't get back together with him. You need to have Christians as your very closest friends, because only they can understand the most important friend you have in your whole life, God!   If you chose for one reason or another not to get back together with him, I'd urge you to 'speak the truth in love' to him.  Once you decide in your heart not to go back with him, kindly tell him so. Don't just try your best to avoid him.
    As for this other guy that you have also liked, if he's a Christian, and you care for him, and you have fun together, go for getting to know him better!!  That sounds really cool.
Take your time being friends before you get 'serious', you know? You can never be 'friends' for too long; if something is going to happen, it's going to happen. Don't get anxious for the romantic part until you feel like it's naturally time for that.

     Thanks for writing. Feel free to keep in touch!!
Love in Jesus,
Susan M.