Expert: Susan Milillo - 11/19/2009

Question
Hello, I have a problem...I am 20 yrs old a junior in college...I live at home (my college is like 25 miles from my home) cause at the time i did not want to spend the money to live in the dorms when i was a freshman.  Also, i wanted to concentrate on school, which I did.  However now I really regret not living in the dorms, and being overly focused on school cause now I don't have alot of friends...which was fine back then...but now I really want friends and a boyfriend and be able to have fun.  However, now I don't know how to make friends.. I feel like everyone my age has their group already.  I feel so alone..I don't know what to do and have alot of regrets, even though at the time thats what i wanted!  help!  THanks!

Answer

One thing that came to mind when I was thinking about your question, is that a good church is often a good place to find friends/a boyfriend.  You hopefully find quality people there, with good values.  Have you tried this?

The other idea is, could you focus on building a friendship with one other person?   What we think of as having fun with friends, usually involves a mental picture of a 'group', or being part of a 'party'.  I heard somewhere that it's easier to make friends when you have a friend.  That sounds ironic, but basically, start out small. Then that friend introduces you to one or two of their friends, and before you know it, you might just have a group of friends!

I hope these ideas work for you.

Please feel free to write again!

Sincerely,
Susan M.