Expert: Susan Milillo - 11/2/2009

Question
I just accepted God into my life again. I believed in him for a long time but that was before I was a teenager. When I became a teenager I thought he's not real I can't touch him, hear him, see him, or anything, and that there isn't proof that he is real.But tonight I was talking to a college student who has helped me a lot. I now accept God into my life and know that he is real. I know that I am accepting him and meaning it. My question though is I was told that God is now my husband and I need to wait a long time before I can have a boyfriend and that if I have one I need to break up with him. I need to stay pure. And that I cannot lust. Is this true? What do I do? I have a long term boyfriend I don't want to lose him. I'm way past when I turned 13. It's been years.What do I do please help me. Thank you.

Answer
Dear Veronica,

  I am so happy and blessed to hear of your true heart for Jesus Christ and how you want to live your life for Him.  I see that you understand that He wants your all. That is so good, and a  very valuable thing to understand.
  I'd like to clarify a few things though.  I don't believe it is against God's will to have a boyfriend. Yes, God is your husband, in a spiritual sense - in that He is to be your 'all in all' - but I am a married woman, and God is still my 'ultimate' husband. He is the perfect Lover of my soul! No man can every love me as greatly as He does - and my husband is a wonderful man!
The point is to put God first, and not to 'worship' a man.
  God does desire us to live pure and holy lives - I'm sure you know the Bible teaches this.
It's all throughout the New Testament - especially the epistles. (Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, etc.) So yes, He does want you to NOT lust after your boyfriend.  Or to have sex, if you are not married to him yet.  Once you are married, it's one of the most awesome wonderful gifts God has given (speaking from experience).. - I didn't have sex before I married my husband and I'm thankful for that.  Basically, to lust is to DO it in your heart- and it makes it harder for one to actually not 'do it'.  God wants us to pursue purity and love for Him primarily.
  This doesn't mean you can't have a boyfriend! Just seek God and His will together, and stay within His boundaries and safeguards.

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."
(sorry, I can't think of the reference for this - I think it's somewhere in I or II Timothy!)

Love in Him,
Susan M.
Please stay in touch ! I'd love to talk with you and help out more, any way I can through Him.