Expert: Susan Milillo - 11/13/2009

Question
Hey, I've been really upset lately and have not had peace in my heart since the end of this summer.
I am an honors student and love to learn and do very well in school. I love to challenge myself. I also have a passion for the arts and want to make movies when I get older that have a good message and because I have a lot of really great ideas. This is my freshman year in high school and I had intended to take theater as a class. Close to the end of the summer my guidance counselor told me I should take geometry which was the same block because my peers at the same level would all be doing it then and otherwise I will most likely not be able to do chamber singers (my first priority) next year due to scheduling conflicts.  I have been struggling with this decision since then and every time I make a decision weighing out the odds I get these panic attacks in the middle of the night and I am paralizingly afraid I will make the wrong decision and will mess up my future. I could not make this decision so I prayed to God. Last weeked I went to a "journey" retreat and felt like god was nudging me to do theater and i got this great peace. Last night however, I got another panick attack in the middle of the night and now I am so confused all over again. I don't know what God is trying to tell me and I am so overwhelmed. What is your advice and how do I know when God is speaking to me?

Please pray for me and thank you.

yours in christ,

Katie

Answer
Dear Katie,

  A couple things come to mind.   First, it's really great that you were praying for guidance from God to pick the right class.  And I guess in some ways you have come to the right 'expert' person (not that I consider myself an expert in this issue!!) because decision making has always put me into a panic, personally.   So I really think I understand where you are coming from.
  Something important to keep in mind, as big as everything seems right now, a class or two that you will or won't take in high school is very small in the whole scheme of what shapes your future career or ministry.  I know that a lot of people who have majored in certain things even in COLLEGE have ended up having jobs that seem totally unrelated!  So I guess what I'm trying to say is, try to loosen up a bit on your perspective of how important these individual decisions are.
It's the whole pattern of our lives, the direction we are taking, that matters in the long run.
   Secondly, if you prayed, and then felt a great peace, I would say go with that . While there are no logically sure-fire ways of knowing if God is telling you to take this or that class, we do know that His will for us is to bring all things to Him (which you did), to 'Let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts' (Colossians), and to trust Him for the outcome.
   Then ACT on your decision. When you reach a decision that you feel peace about before God, act on it as soon as you can, before you lose your momentum and your analytical questions and panicky feelings try to take control again.

     Does this ring true with you? Please contact me again if I can be of further help~!

Love and prayers,
Susan M.