Expert: Susan Milillo - 12/20/2009

Question
Dear Susan,
One of my good friends from University and I, after being friends for two years, have started dating each other. He is Catholic, and I am atheist. We haven't had sex, but we have committed a sexual act, and I feel guilty about it. He said that he felt fine about it, and did not think it was wrong, although he knew it was frowned upon by the Church. I believed him at the time, as I do not know a lot about Catholicism. Later, I did some research, and I talked to a lot of people - now I realise that he has sinned. I too, feel like I have sinned, even though I did not think that I believed in God. Now, things have changed, and I feel guilty about our act. We are both young, and I am totally committed to him, but I feel like if he is Catholic, he has sinned, and must ask for forgiveness. Are absolutely all sins able to be forgiven? Should I ask him to go to confession? Should I ask God for forgiveness for both of us? I feel guilty, because I feel like I have ruined his purity, even though I do want to stay with him. Help!

Rachel

Answer
Dear Rachel,

   I apologize for the delay in my response.  It's been crazy busy around here. But I didn't mean to keep you waiting.

   YES, absolutely all sins are able to be forgiven.  This is because Jesus died a horrific death on the cross many years ago -- the sacrifice of God Himself.  This sacrifice is enough to cover all sins.   If someone asks Jesus to be their Savior and forgive them all their sins, then it is ALL covered - past, present and future sins.   His death was that precious, that powerful.

    I think it is very significant that you feel guilty, that you feel like you have sinned, although you have not believed in God.  I have to tell you, that is SO, like , right out of the Bible.   Look at this:

     Romans 2:14-

"Indeed when Gentiles (those who are not the people of God) who do not have the law, do by nature the things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, __even though they do not have the law, since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them__."

     If you are feeling guilty, and like you have sinned, doesn't there have to be a God?
Or else who are you guilty TO ? Or before?  Whom have you sinned AGAINST ?

     There is a God, and He does hate sin. But there is good news too, Rachel.  Jesus died to pay the punishment for our sins.  So we can have peace with God and forgiveness and freedom !
Please believe this, it is true!

     As far as your boyfriend, I guess just encourage him to think about what defines sin -- it's not important if he 'didn't feel ' like it was sin.  If it's against God's Word, the Bible, then it IS sin, right ??

     I'm so excited to be in touch with you. I think God is really working in your life to draw you to Himself.   Don't keep Him waiting too long to love you !!

          :-)  Love, Susan M.