Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 12/21/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hi Pastor,
I was wondering...Could you p'haps help me understand the conncept of God's  love? Does God really love all of us the same? Why does He show more favour and kindness to some and not to others? Why do some people live happy fulfilled lives yet others endure throughout their,living like people under a curse lives? Is God selective in His love? How can love be so fulfilling towards one, yet so lacking towards another? Does God really care about His people's pain? Is God indifferent sometimes? Please help me understand.

ANSWER: Hi

THanks for this great question.  I am very sorry for my late response.

God loves us and we know He does because He sent His Son Jesus to die in our place on the cross.

John 3:16
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2 Corinthians 5:21
21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Romans 5:8
8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

1 John 4:10
10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

You seem to think that if we have a rough life it is because God somehow is not loving us.  He loves us enough to allow us to make our own choices, even if those choices take us away from Him and away from what is best.

Matthew 23:37
37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Sometimes He is showing love by allowing negative consequences come in our lives to teach us to change our behavior.

Hebrews 12:5-8
5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Do not look on the surface and assume that God does not love someone because they are going through a hard time... in fact it is through that hard time that God often demonstrates the greatest amount of love.

Psalm 23:4
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2 Corinthians 12:7-9
7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Pastor Don,
I still struggle to understand. You say God loves us. Ok, fine. Now this is the part that doesn't add up:
I assume you have kids of your own. If any of them has a problem, it is your problem too. If any of them is suffering, you are suffering too. I believe that under no circumstances will you just stand back and watch-that is what I understand about love. I believe any loving parent would do just about anything to get their kid out of a fix- even if that fix was entirely his/her fault. That's what parent's do, isn't it? I thought God could do everything, how then does He manage to look away and not see the pain and the suffering? If He can see,why does He ignore when you cry out in anguish? Where is He when it really hurts? What kind of love is this? Does God really exist, or is our faith a blind faith?
Please respond a little sooner, and i'd appreciate it if you could use a simpler version of a bible for your references.
Thank you.

ANSWER: Hello again,

You are right that this is difficult to understand.  We as human beings are bound to time and space.  God is bound to neither time nor space.  He sees what will be forever... we only see a microversion of  the whole picture.  God uses what the Devil intends for evil and turns it into good.  Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers... where was God?  He stood and did not commit adultery with his owner's wife... who really wanted him.  Instead of being rewarded, he went from being a slave to going into prison falsly accused.  Where was God?  From his perspective, it would seem that Joseph was forgotten.  God had a plan.  He was going to promote Joseph to second in charge over all of Egypt... but he had to have been in prison for a person who did time with him to find out about his ability to interpret dreams and tell the king.  Please read Genesis 37-50 to see all of the incredible events of this story.  I can sumerize it with one verse.

Gen 50:20  But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.


I am a father of 4 kids ages 16-21.  I have seen them get into bad situations before.  You are right I always feel like jumping in and fixing things, but sometimes, I cannot do that because I love them.  One child made a dumb decision and got into legal trouble.  I did not interceed for them, they faced the law on their own and learned by their actions.  I know many parents that do not allow consequences to teach their kids, and their kids do not learn to change their behavior.  God loves His own enough to allow trials to come into our lives to teach us to make better decisions and to turn to Him.

Now, you can choose to believe these words or not.  It does require faith to believe this.  It is up to you whether you choose to believe or not.

I hope that this helps you.

In CHrist
Pastor Don

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Pastor Don,

I want so desperately to believe-to cling on to something, but from where i stand,it appears like 'am the last thing on God's mind. There are so many things i don't understand. My young life is plagued with so many "whys". When I look around me, i can see that there are many people that have definitely have it better than me. Where i have struggled, they have had it easy. What have i ever done to deserve perpetual suffering? Are some of us just simply condemned to a hard,painful life? Why? Isn't the same God that made white man also the one that made the black man? Isn't the same God that made the tall also the one that made the short? Isn't the same God that made the man also the one that made the woman? Isn't the same God that made the beautiful also the one that made the ugly? Surely,if God chooses that one should be ugly, shouldn't there be some compensating factor for it-such as intelligence? How is it that some of us just have it all bad? Maybe you as a Pastor could bring God a little closer to my level of uderstanding. Am lost.
Thank you.

Answer
Hello once again.  Thank you for this follow up.  I do not think that I can convince you any differently about God.  Here is what I can tell you... You are finite, God is infinite.  To judge whether or not God is righteous based upon your finite understanding is profoundly unwise.

Isaiah 55:7-11
7 Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.   8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: 11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

When Peter wanted to know if John was going to die the same way he was going to, Jesus basically said that it was none of His buisness.  We are to answer to a perfect and Holy God, He is not to answer to us.

John 21:21-22
21 Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do? 22 Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don