Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 3/14/2009

Question
My name is Donovan I am 16 and I have no Christian friends because I do not get along with any Christians that I have met so far.

I did try 3 youth groups in my area and the first one, everybody was nice to me but after 5 months or so there was nobody who wanted to hang out with me. They'd be nice to me at youth group but when I tried to call them they were always busy. In the 2nd youth group everybody was in their own cliques, their were like 100 or so kids in this particular youth group but they were divided into like 10 different cliques and when I talked to them I felt more like an outsider, I tried this one for about 3 months 2 times a week. The 3rd group was the worst, I got blasted for wearing an Eminem T shirt, I did that one for 2 weeks.

Then the Christian club at my school is sort of iffy it's more like the young Republicans club, the president of that club is constantly talking about politics and I hung out with him once but he seems to have no other interests besides Politics and Religion. Long story short, I have been wanting Christian friends but I find myself being turned off by other Christian teens. My friends now are more new age types than Christians but they do believe in God or at least the concept of a God. We get along fine and have lots in common except our religious beliefs.

Do you think that perhaps God has called me to befriend non-Christians so that I could be a light to them?

Answer
Hi Donovan,

Thanks for this great question.  I am sorry for my late response.  I do not believe that God is calling you to befreind unbelievers in place of believers.  He is calling you to reach them with the gospel, but not to befreind them until they become believers.

Psalm 1:1-2

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.  2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2 Corinthians 6:14-17
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said,  I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I believe that your problem may be that you are waiting for teens to meet your needs.  You need to come to a friendship seeking to meet the needs and interests of others, then God will allow someone to meet yours.  Everything you said was about how they would make you feel, not about what you did to reach out and selflessly meet the needs of others.

Philippians 2:2-4
2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. 4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

In Christ
Pastor Don