Expert: Carl Fuglein - 3/14/2009

Question
My name is "Tyson", I am 15 and my Mom got married recently and my step-dad is very nice, I have no problems with him. He moved his son in about 1 month ago, his son is like 6 weeks younger than me so we are pretty much the same age. We sleep in the same room and starting about 2 weeks ago we began doing sexual things with each other every single night. We have gotten progressively more intense, it started out as touching and has gotten more crazy. The only thing we haven't done is outright sex.

We will do something and then we will both cum and then feel guilty and swear to never do it again but then the next night we start up. We share the same room and no other room is available so at night if we are both in the mood it's pretty much going to happen. We both believe in God and go to the same church but still end up doing this when we feel like it.

We have no other rooms to sleep in so we have to share a room. To make matters worse he is having one of his friends over in a few days whom he used to do the same things with and I find myself becoming excited thinking about what could happen between the three of us. I never considered myself gay and never did anything like this before my step brother but I just can't seem to stop myself when the opportunity presents itself.

I know this is wrong and he knows this is wrong and we both don't want to do this and yet when the time is right (or wrong) it's like so hard to control myself. I can't promise that I won't do it again tonight because the thought of it is very arousing for me.

Please help, what should I do?

Answer
Tyson-

First of all, you should realize that you are probably not gay - sexual experimentation among brothers is not all that unusual - this is actually the second time the subject has been asked about in the last couple days.  So, you're not alone.  That still doesn't make it right, but it should make you feel like less of a freak.  

How should you handle it?  Well the first thing is to admit to each other that it's wrong and that you don't want to do it again.  You have to keep telling each other that - on any given occasion, at least one of you is going to have to be strong and just say no.  Since there's no where else for you to sleep, this will be difficult, but you have to try.

You may want to call the Hopeline, a Christian site with coaches and counselors that will help you through difficult situations.  They are better qualified than I am to deal with your issues.  You can find their website at http://www.thehopeline.com/  I would suggest you check it out and call them.  I would look at the site and even call them together with your step brother if you can.  They also have chat and email that is anonymous.

And finally, pray for God's help and know that He doesn't want you to do this, but will forgive you when you do.

blessings,

carl